(Closed) BM darma!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Sorry – I have no advice because I have no bridesmaids.  I don’t do drama.

BUT…. what reason did she give?  Is it legit?

Post # 5
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Well, credit her for her honesty, I guess.  Some people just weren’t cut out for the job.  I was a terrible MOH for my sister’s first wedding.  I was too young and just not into it.  

It’s better to hurt a bit now and then re-focus on wedding planning than to be chasing after her to help until the wedding day.  I wouldn’t end the friendship over this.  I understand it’s shocking, but it’s just a little bump in the road to the wedding day.

Post # 6
Member
2974 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Mrs.Ebers:  wow, that sucks. i haven’t had anyone drop out of my wedding, but i kinda feel like sometimes one of my girls doesn’t want anything to do with it.

one minute she’s super excited about everything and wants to help, but when she’s asked to do something it’s like pulling teeth getting her to do it! i haven’t even asked for that much. so far the only thing she’s had to do over the last year is order her dress (which she keeps telling me over and over again that she doesn’t like, but i asked for her input and she didn’t give me any, so she screwed herself on that one) and help my maid of honor with my shower (all she has to do is buy a couple prizes and help before/during the party; nothing too time consuming or costly) 

every time i would bring up either subject she’d give me excuses about why she couldn’t do this or that. she’s never been a bridesmaid before and is totally clueless about what it’s all about, but i’ve been explaining it to her and she still doesn’t seem to get it or even care sometimes and i seriously wonder if she’s going to bail on me 🙁

Post # 7
Member
1307 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Wow, that does suck. I know a lot of brides ask their BM’s for help, but it is not really a requirement they help. As long as they get the dress and show up the day of. Maybe she just felt really guilty/awkward that everyone but her was helping out.

 

Maybe you can tell her you understand she cannot help with all the stuff, but you would still like for her to stand with you.

 

If she still says no, you will just have one less BM.

Post # 8
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This isn’t anything to do with you….she’s backed out for her own reasons. Try not to take it personally. I’d leave her be for a little while then contact her to show there’s no hard feelings.

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