Post # 1
Member
3571 posts
Sugar bee
Last night, I get a text from a Bridesmaid or Best Man, it says “After much consideration I think the you should give my dress to someone who you actually want in your life and not someone who would just be a spot in your bridal party. The dress is paid for but it will need to be sized because it’s large. Best of luck.” I tried texting her an insane amount of times, called her.. and haven’t hear a word back! We haven’t gotten into a fight, nothing is “wrong” that I know of.. I have NO IDEA what the heck happened?! Her dress is waiting to be picked up at the bridal shop.. I’m going to get it this week and keep it at my house.. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t understand how she can send me that message, then not respond at all.. not give me any further explanation..
Post # 3
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
Sounds like a possible misunderstanding? She obviously thinks you don’t really want her in the wedding for some reason. Maybe let things cool down for a few days, and then contact her again?
Post # 4
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
have you said anything about her to a mutual friend that could have been fed back or mis interpreted? were you really close up until this point?
does seem really bizarre for someone to just do that for no reason
Post # 5
Member
8879 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
I’m sorry 🙁 That’s hurtful and down right rude. If she’s mad at you for something, she should at least have the “balls” to tell you why. Keep calling her, you deserve a reason.
Post # 6
Member
11265 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
how strange? there is obviously a reason why she would text you this and feel this way. have you talked to the other bms to see if anything had been discussed?
Post # 7
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
Whoa, that would make me lose my mind. So abrupt it makes me think something must have happened.
That’s just causing stress that you don’t need. Unfortunately you will need to get a better answer before replacing her, and I would suggest you keep trying to talk to her, but let her know that if you don’t get an answer you will have to count her out based on that message. You can’t forge ahead with plans if you don’t know if she’s in or out.
That’s really too bad, and I doubt anything that happened would have warrented a bounce off like that. Sorry she did that to you. 🙁
*edit: one more thing, you may have to track her down in person to talk to her. Show up at her house, etc. I had to do that with one of my BM’s
Post # 8
Member
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
I agree with a PP, maybe even dropping off a handwritten note at her house if you can’t get to see her in person. So weird for it to be totally out of nowhere, sounds like a misunderstanding! I’d be wary of going to the other Bridal Party members though, I don’t know any of your girls but could it be possible there was some kind of drama between them, and they got snarky to each other? I hate to think that, but I just wonder how she came to feel she was just a “spot” in line.
Post # 9
Member
13951 posts
Honey Beekeeper
Wow, that’s crazy. I agree with PPs – something must have happened. That’s not the kind of reaction you get over a simple misunderstanding. I would try to reach out to her to get coffee/dinner and meet in person to discuss what’s going on, or at the very least, send her a handwritten note if she refuses to meet with you. Good luck!
Post # 10
Member
3571 posts
Sugar bee
@Sunshine09: I thought about doing that, (going to her house) but I wasn’t sure if that was a little too crazy. The dress has to be picked up by Thur or the shop starts charging a fee to keep it there.. so I’m getting it Thursday.
I’ve talked to the other Bridesmaid or Best Man, they are all just as shocked as me. No one has ANY idea why she’d do this.. no one has said anything behind her back about her.. I called her again today & left her a voicemail.. all I want is an explanation. I’m not mad about her dropping out, I’m mad she won’t give a reason & is completely ignoring me and another Bridesmaid or Best Man that she is close with.. she won’t respond to her either.
She is pregnant, and people keep saying “Oh it’s pregnancy hormones,” I don’t buy that. Being pregnant doesn’t make you suddenly want to drop out of a wedding she’s been SO excited for all along, and suddenly never speak to me again. She lives about 45 mins away & has a son already.. so I understand she’s busy (so am I) and we don’t see each other as much as we’d like to.. but that’s not a reason so just suddenly drop out.
I’m not going to keep hounding her.. if she won’t reply, then unfortunately I think I have to count her out. I’ll call again once I have her dress.. maybe she’ll have changed her mind after seeing how much I DO care & am trying to figure out what’s wrong.. if I still can’t reach her.. I’m gonig to have to move on without her.
We haven’t really had any in depth conversations lately for there be any misunderstandings.. I am always the one to reach out to her & include her in get togethers, or just to see how she’s doing.. I don’t know how she can think I don’t want her in my life anymore.
Post # 11
Member
3571 posts
Sugar bee
@Sunnyday278: No, none of the other Bridesmaid or Best Man have had any drama with her.. they are all just as shocked as me. This Bridesmaid or Best Man is a very mature, level-headed woman.. I have no idea what happened?!
Post # 12
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
@X0JLYNN03: Crazy is as crazy does. She has given you a perfectly good reason for you to track her down in person and ask her wth is up!