(Closed) BM Dress Shopping Hell!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
94 posts
Worker bee

What I did was find some images online of dresses that fitted my vision of what I would like at my wedding…then I went shopping with just the bm’s and they tried on a selection of styles…

  Our main task was to find a style that suited all of them. The colours I had already chosen so there wasn’t any negotiating on that I am afraid. After trying on many dresses (ignoring what colour they were) we all settled on a style and they were then bought online (I had a very lucky find on ebay – right colour, size and style for all)

    Of course it was easier for me as I was paying for the dresses, so I could have just got any and I know they would have worn them. I assume you are asking them to pay for the dresses? – which from what I have seen on here causes most BM’s to insist on some choice as they are paying.

    So I would say to them that you have chosen the colours (unless you are willing to adjust them a little) and say that you need to go and try on dresses for style. Perhaps you could do some hunting online and see what availability there is in the colours of your choice in different styles. Sometimes dresses online are cheaper than shops. 

   Communication is key thing here…talk to each other and see if you can all work together on it. It is when you sit on something like this that aggravation grows and you end up exploding over something insignificant. I am not saying you should say it was hell, but it doesn’t sound like anyone had any fun…and it should be and can be fun. 

Post # 5
Member
94 posts
Worker bee

@Mrs.Saez:  I totally sympathise as I suffer from back pain too. It can’t have helped the situation with them suddenly going off track! ;o) You seem to be quite calm in the situation though…if you need to chat PM me. Sending *hugs*

  

Post # 6
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You need to just go pick a dress that you like and tell them that is what they need to get.  I haven’t gone with my BMs yet to do dresses, but have gotten an earful from my sister’s about the dresses – so I am going alone to pick out a dress and they can just order it!  

Post # 7
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe call ahead to the store and ask them to pull a couple of styles in the color scheme (or that can be ordered in the color-scheme) you are looking for so that your BM’s don’t get free reign and pull things that aren’t appropriate for the wedding. That way – it’s time-sensitive for your back problems and cost-effective because the bridal shop is pulling only what works for your group!

Post # 8
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MrsWBS:  Totally agree.  

 

OP, they agreed to be bridesmaids.  It’s definitely a huge bonus if they can wear the dresses again, but more often than not that’s not the case.  I think you should tell them what you want them to wear, and they should go with it without complaining. I wore a hideous dress when I was a bridesmaid once, and didn’t say a word about it, just smiled and showed up.  That’s what they should be doing for you.  DB sounds like a good choice in this situation–seems like you’re on the right track! 🙂

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