(Closed) BM Dresses – Did you ask or tell?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Did you ask your bridesmaids for their opinions, or did you just pick a dress for them?
    I got their opinions and we picked dresses together! : (25 votes)
    40 %
    I picked their dresses! : (15 votes)
    24 %
    Other (see below) : (22 votes)
    35 %
  • Post # 3
    4480 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

    I got a general consensus on price, and then I picked the options (two Dessy dresses with different necklines) and let them choose from those. I was worried if I let them give me initial input into the actual style of the dress that whoever didn’t end up with the dress they wanted might feel annoyed or like I was playing favorites. I actually was specifically trying to avoid comments like your Bridesmaid or Best Man3’s!

    I still got some hassle, though. One of my BMs gave me some grief about finding a dress that would suit her better, so I finally had to remind her that normally she wouldn’t have a choice at all and did she want straps or did she not? That was the only choice she was getting! 😉 I think it will turn out okay, though.

    Post # 4
    2634 posts
    Sugar bee

    I picked and paid for their dresses.  My original plan was to have us all go together and pick them, but when I was browsing at Macy’s one day I found a dress that had all the colors of my wedding in it and I LOVED it for only $33 (on clearance down from $160).  I bought one for each gal.  I then showed them all the dress and they all really liked it – so it’s the dress we’re going with.

    Post # 5
    5271 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I asked some but not all, because several of my Bridesmaid or Best Man lived OFT. So I took two of them shopping with me and when they agreed on it, I just told the others “buy this dress.”

    However, the dress i choose was more casual, not BM”sey,” so everyone was happy.

    Post # 6
    584 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    It was for that very reason that I chose Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses with *just* the Maid/Matron of Honor. My BM’s had *very* different body types and personal styles, and 2 of them have no sense of when to shut up and do what the bride wants. Also, one isn’t happy if she’s not showing all kinds of skin, and the other is so self-conscious that she always wears at least short sleeves and long skirts/pants. I wanted all the same dress, but even if I had allowed different dresses, I think there would’ve been backlash against mandating the color/fabric/length/whatever. So Maid/Matron of Honor and I talked about what kinds of things would be most universally flattering and would fit with the wedding, we shopped by ourselves, and I just told the girls what we had decided. I heard some mutterings, but it was way better than getting them involved in the decision-making process!

    Post # 7
    4765 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

    I plan to basically just tell them a yellow knee or tea length dress and letting them have at it. I’ll give ideas if they want it, but I don’t necessarily want them to wear the same dress…it’s more important to me that they get something they’ll wear again!

    Post # 8
    14183 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I sent out TONS of feelers for the girls like this: “hey this is what I’d like (enter description here), help me find it!” and I didn’t get ONE email from all 6 of them. So i said fine,…tried to find them myselves…only found them for $320. So mom said, “oh i’ll make them!” and she did. They had their chance but they still lucked out since they didn’t have to pay for them!

    Post # 9
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Each of my girls is wearing what she wants I just gave a little criteria and then they picked the dress.  They are going to David’s Bridal getting a short dress in Marine and will either wear white or silver shoes.  This way each girl is comfortable in the dress she picks.

    Post # 10
    86 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I knew what dress I wanted for my bridesmaids before I was even engaged, haha! I LOVE love love jcrew dresses and knew that none of my girls like strapless so I picked the sophia chiffon in espresso and they all love it (and the price too – under $100!)

    Post # 11
    451 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I chose obviously the color and length and let them decide together what dress they wanted! 2 couldn’t make it so the other 3 joined forces and chose. The other two said they would wear anything since they couldn’t make it to the try on day. I was very fortunate! They chose a fabulous dress that saved them all money as well!

    Post # 12
    455 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I picked the color (black) and they can pick the dress. Oh yea, must be a formal dress (cocktail is okay too), but no jersey material.  I’m debating between picking the material as well.  My small intimate wedding party has grown since I told my mom we’re getting married (she and Future Mother-In-Law are the only one outside me and Mister that are aware of this wedding).  But in any event, my Maid/Matron of Honor is my mom and my three BFF’s will be the bridesmaid (my mom insisted I include them) and my daughter will be a jr. bridesmaid.  All, but my daughter, will be in black.  My daughter will be wearing white or ivory (to match the color of my gown) with perhaps a black sash to match the ladies. 

    Post # 13
    180 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I want an eclectic mix of dresses. I picked about 10-12 on polyvore to give them an idea and let them know to either pick oneof those or find similar.

    I want it to be something they actually like and feel comfortable in. Something that fit’s their shape and that they will wear again.


    So far two of their dresses are in and they are adorable!!


    Post # 14
    303 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I was lucky in that 4 of my 5 BMs could come dress shopping (and the 5th didn’t care (in a good way) or live nearby). I chose the color and length, and they tried on every dress in the store that was of that length. They would each try on one dress so there were 4 dresses being tried on at once, and if someone didn’t like one of them, it was out. It only took them about an hour to pick out a dress that we all loved! There was only 1 person who didn’t seem 100% satisfied, but she was 5 months preggers at the time, so I attribute it to frustration/hormones :).

    That’s the long way of saying “ask”.

    Post # 15
    5977 posts
    Bee Keeper

    2 of my Bridesmaid or Best Man came shopping with me…my SIL who was a twig, and my Maid/Matron of Honor who was…shapely Smile I wanted to make sure that the dresses they picked looked good on both body types since they were the most extreme. We found one together, and I think everyone was happy it stayed under $170!

    Post # 16
    1732 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I picked 2-3 things I liked and then polled among them.  They all told me just to pick.

    Do bridesmaids really go into this expecting to wear their dress again?  Really?  I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man 5 times now and I have never had the expectation of more than a one-time use.

    The topic ‘BM Dresses – Did you ask or tell?’ is closed to new replies.

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