Post # 31
I am frankly AMAZED and horrified that you feel the need to control your friend’s appearance and self-expression like this! I completely agree with stardustintheeyes, it’s not like she’s your doll!!! Wow. I didn’t realize weddings had become just about the photoshoots. I am actually shocked and appalled that so many PPs seem to think this is okay too. 🙁
Sorry, but my only advice is to get over this self-centredness. Why on earth would you care what one of your loved ones looks like on the day to make a lifetime committment to your partner? Who and what is this day about? Like actually, this is mind-blowing.
P.S. I did not have bridesmaids, but I had several of my closest friends stand up to do reading during our ceremony, so perhaps that is even more personal and “centre-of-attention. One of these friends had rainbow highlighter-bright streaks in her hair. My cousin’s toddler asked her “why her hair was like that” and she told him “this is what happens when you eat too many skittles.” He thought it was hilarious – what a priceless memory.
Post # 32
since she sounds like the impulsive type, i wouldn’t worry about it. there’s a good chance she’ll change her mind. but it is her hair and you can’t dictate what she does with it. if a bride told me i had to change my hair to be in their wedding, i’d step down before any more ridiculous requests were made
my hair is pink. i’ve also had it purple, blue, and turquoise (all at the same time and also on my wedding day). i’ve had colorful hair for 10 years, so there’s a chance that her new colorful hair may stick around for a while. you might as well try to get used to it. and if you decide to ask her to change it and she is willing to, you should pay for it.
Post # 33
MrsSnowMountain: thank you! everyone is like “oh well don’t say anything right now but it’s cool to ask her to change it closer to the wedding…”
uhhh except it’s not?
Post # 34
MrsSnowMountain: that’s such a cute story! i’m going to start saying that when kids ask me about my hair, lol.
Post # 35
It’s her hair, not yours. I’m not seeing the huge issue here. Besides, pink hair is usually cute.
Post # 36
alexsquared: I’m dying… I think it’s best you just don’t say anything. 9 months is a long time. I’m sure she’ll outgrow the green & pink hair and you won’t be inclined to say anything and look like a Bridezilla. Just continue on with your other wedding planning stuff and let this phase pass.
Post # 37
I would be cool about it. And to tell the truth it would no bother me one way or the other if she has the dress, her make-up on and her hair in the same style as everyone else. I just would not care. But, thats me. You know, if it did bother me I’d even ask her to wear a wig or hat of some kind if I paid for it. Even a ultra thick headband would get it out of her face and cover up some of it. And what about a scarf? A scarf can do wonders covering up bad hair. How about a big ass flower and a headband? Be open to the different covers.
Post # 38
Sorry, it’s not worth the freak out and there is really nothing you can (or should…) do about it. You cannot control someone’s body choices and I don’t think any person should ever think they have the right to do so. If her hair is the same colors on your wedding day, you’ll have to deal with it. She’s a part of your wedding because you love and care for her just the way she is so accept it…even though this may be totally mute as it’s 9 months out.
And I don’t think anyone actually called you a Bridezilla, but informed you that this was entering that territory.
Post # 39
MrsHalpert: Exactly. When did it become acceptable to tell your friends how they should look? My sister was talking about some friend’s wedding and saying something about this. She was stunned when I told her that a bride has no right to demand things related to your body…I was like, really?
Post # 40
I think it may stand out less than you think. I was in a wedding where one of the bridesmaids had lots of bright colored streaks in her blonde hair. I’m not one for crazy hair colors, but it actually looked very “her” and when she had it in a updo it was really not all that noticeable from the front and was pretty in the back. And when I look at the pictures of the wedding day that the photographer posted, the bridesmaids are really in very few of them – it’s mostly about the couple. So I completely understand where you’re coming from, but I think in reality (and in photos) this will feel like not a big deal at all in the end.
Post # 41
mdcmod: my Maid/Matron of Honor has a big tattoo in her back too. She also has really short hair so it will be totally showing with the dress on. I’m not crazy about it………but it is too late to find a dress that covers it. Oh well…….. Good for you for noticing that before it was too late and the dresses were already picked!
alexsquared: I’m sorry you are being called a bridezilla…..that’s not nice and in my opinion, totally not the case. You are worried about the crazy hair, and it is totally understandable! one of my best friends had her sister as an Maid/Matron of Honor and she showed up to the wedding with pink hair. My friend still tears up when she talks about it. It was so uncalled for and all of the guests kept asking her about her sister’s hair. she hates all of her pictures and she has zero group pictures posted anywhere or even framed. Who wants that???? If that’s the case, call me a bridezilla too because I would hate that too! Look, take a deep breath, wait a few months. If 1 or 2 months before the wedding, she still has crazy hair……be nice about it and ask her if she can dye it back to normal…..say that it would mean the world to you. But right now, focus on your Fiance, on the wedding planning and enjoy, it goes by really fast. Congrats!!!
Post # 42
alexsquared: My hairstylist (and close friend) had flourescent orange hair at my wedding. She was in A LOT of pictures and honestly, the contrast was pretty sweet haha. Don’t stress! Enjoy!
Post # 43
It’s a wedding, not a magazine shoot. If a bride wants her wedding to resemble pinterest, she should choose only conventionally attractive acquaintances who resemble each other and look like fairy princess ladies-in-waiting in the predetermined dress and matching updo. All others can choose their loved ones, who are individuals whose body choices are their own. Feel free to tell your friend to dye her hair a color that matches your “vision,” but don’t be surprised if she starts to view your friendship a lot differently.
Post # 44
I’m going to start by agreeing with most PPs: bright colors fade fast, so wait it out. I can almost guarantee you she will dye it again, maybe even multiple times, before the wedding. See if she refreshes the same colors, tries different bright colors, or goes back to naturals.
I personally would not be offended by a request for natural-colored hair, even as someone who misses having purple hair. (Stupid corporate America job) But I was also the bridesmaid who discussed my new tattoo with the bride (now my MOH) before I got it and even showed her my drawings. I wasn’t going to NOT get a tattoo b/c of her wedding, but I told her I could postpone getting it a few months if she wanted. And I sat down over dinner and had this conversation with her “because I don’t want to shock you or add stress before your wedding.” She, of course, was totally cool and told me to go ahead, and then she LOVED how it looked in my Bridesmaid or Best Man dress (it was pretty awesome, if I do say so myself)
So my point is that you know your friend best. Would she balk at being asked to stick to a certain group of colors? Could you 2 maybe compromise, and request that her hair be a SINGLE color, whatever her choice is? This will utimately be a conversation between you and her, not a bunch of strangers. So wait to see what the next dye brings, decide whether you still want to discuss it, and then work through it with her. Good luck! 🙂
Post # 45
Sorry, I forgot the point I was making by telling my story: you could always ask her to at least not dye her hair for the week or so leading up to the wedding so that you won’t be too shocked, have time to adjust, etc. (And really, any dye should be 2 weeks before a big event anyways). And this request could be completely independent or incorporated into your overall hair discussion.