Post # 1
I was wondering if it was rude to get some of my bridesmaids an additional gift on top of what the others are getting. I am getting all my BMs a floral silk robe and a matching necklace and pair of earrings.
However, I am wanting to buy something ‘extra’ for the three bridesmaids(out of 5 BM) who planned, paid for and attended my bachelorette party. the bachelorette was a three day weekend out of town that included a hotel stay, spa day with mani/pedi and massages, winery tour and of course all my meals were paid for. The other two Bridesmaid or Best Man haven’t really been active in the planning stages, and didn’t contribute money to the bachelorette, but all I really expect for them to do is show up On the wedding day.
so should I just get every one the same gifts or is it okay to get something extra for those 3 BM? I was thinking something like a nice wristlet. I would give them the gifts at the rehearsal dinner.
Post # 3
@PeachRN: If you do, I would give it to them one-on-one and let them know not to tell the BMs that aren’t getting the extra gifts!
Post # 4
@PeachRN: It’s very thoughtful of you to want to do something extra for the three bridesmaids who hosted your bachelorette party. However, please do not give these ladies an extra gift at the rehearsal dinner in the presence of your two other bridesmaids. I would find another, private moment to present these additional gifts, even if it means you need to mail them.
Post # 5
@PeachRN: If you really want to show your appreciation for the girls who planned and funded your bachelorette weekend, can you be more discrete about it? It’d probably go over better if you sent them the appreciation gift separately with a note thanking them for the bachelorette weekend. I don’t think giving the uneven gifts at the Rehearsal Dinner is such a good idea.
Post # 6
I agree with all of the PPs. I would definitely not present 3/5 of the BMs with extra gifts right in front of the other 2. I gave my Maid/Matron of Honor an extra gift as she planned and paid for my shower by herself but I did it in private (the night of the shower).
Post # 7
@PeachRN: I am not in favour of getting BM’s the exact same gift because well they are all individuals and deserve an individual gift. Would you buy them all the exact same thing for their individual biorthdays? Also your gifts sounds more like props for your wedding.
However I do feel that you should spend the equivalent money on each of their gifts. If you wanted to give the hosts of your bachelorette party something to thank them for hosting the party then you could do that but I would make sure that it was a totally seperate thing from their Bridesmaid or Best Man gift and given to them just after the bachelorette party.
Post # 8
thanks for the replies; I think i will just give them their additional gift separately.
@j_jaye i can see why you would think they are ‘props’ but I am not taking getting ready photos and do not expect them to wear their gifts on the day of the wedding. the gifts are the same, but the robes are different colors and each necklace/earring combo is different for each Bridesmaid or Best Man.
Post # 9
I think it’s fine if you do it on the down low.
Post # 10
I gave my Maid/Matron of Honor a card and gift to thank her for hosting a bachelorette for me. You are fine to do something like that (it is a gracious way to thank your hosts) however as with any other thank you sentiment, I would suggest you do it promptly and privately.
Post # 11
@PeachRN: of course the Maid/Matron of Honor and BMs from bachellorette deserve more gifts than onky those BMs who only showed up. Nothing rude about it and I plan to do it, yet I think I migh give each girl their gifts privately