(Closed) BM gifts? Or cover expenses?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

i agree that if you can pay for something like her accommodations she would be thrilled!! i am thinking of the same type of gift (and a monogrammed something because i’m a dork) but it is inclusive in either of our packages.

Post # 4
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

If you choose to cover expenses, you will need to write a heartfelt thank you note in place of a gift. A thank you gift does not have to be expensive. A simple non-wedding related token that you can afford that they will be able to keep or use that fits their individual interests is best if you choose to go that route. It will be appreciated more than a dress or necklace that they won’t ever wear again, despite the fact that it can be reworn if they choose. Only you can decide what is best for your situation.

Post # 5
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

If you say she is fairly well off, then I would not worry about her expenses. I would get her a traditional gift. If it’s the guilt you are worried about, I’d spend more on her than maybe the other girls. For one, she’s your Maid/Matron of Honor. Secondly, if there is one thing my girlfriends and I buy each other (non-wedding related) is nice jewelry. We know our tastes are typically better than our men’s, so we buy each other nice jewelry. Or, offer to buy her a nice spa package or something to pamper herself after she’s done taking care of you!

I have a few BMs who have very little money. I told them they could pick their own dresses, so that’s in their hands. (I’m doing non-matching dresses.) But otherwise, I’m not paying extra for any of their stuff because they would be downright insulted by it. But those are my friends.

If you think she’s financially in a postition to cover the dress, hair, shoes, gift, etc, then don’t stress over it. She’s your friend and I’m sure she understands that those are typical expenses to be in a wedding. One day, I’m sure you’ll be in hers (if not already) and will be expected to pay for the same things.

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