(Closed) BM Hell

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1149 posts
Bumble bee

Wow, I’m sorry your Bridesmaid or Best Man is being difficult, particularly in the face of your generosity!

Can her hairdresser come to the house?  If so maybe it’s not such a big problem and could even save some time? 

Post # 5
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Can you just sit them down and say you understand that she likes her hairdresser but it’s important that they be there for you, and you’d really appreciate it if they would be there.  I like Lorienne’s idea too-maybe say let’s try and do this but if not I’d like you to be there!  i’m so sorry you’re having so much difficulty!!

Post # 6
2640 posts
Sugar bee

I’ll say that it is generous for you to allow them to pick out their own dress.  And to pay for them to boot… That’s way cool.  What could the one Bm possibly have a problem with??  Is she regretting her dress choice?  Well anyway, she needs to deal.

When you say you haven’t asked them to do anything, is that because you could and wanted to handle it yourself?  Or they seemed to be uninterested or standoffish?  I guess outside of the dress complaint, I’m trying to grasp how things seem so out of balance to you.

A for the hair.  As you’ve describe, I personally don’t see a huge deal.  When’s the ceremony?  Are you taking pictures at your house?  What time do you think you need her at your house?  Can she get her hair appt for earlier, then meet you at the house?  I understand wanting her to be there the morning of the wedding.  But is she providing you much by sitting there getting her hair done by your hairdresser?  Are you concerned she’s going to flake and not come on time?  Or that she’ll get some updo, you don’t want the BMs to have? 

To be honest I have to get my hair done for a wedding.  And I’m not really looking forward to paying money for someone to take a crack at my hair, fearing I could do a better job on myself without paying any money.  And if I wasn’t Out of Town, and had my own hairdresser, I’d probably be saying the same thing as your bridesmaid.  She knows and trusts someone with her hair.  If you need to give her some parameters on hairstyle fine.  And be clear on when you want her at your house.  Other than that, I’d let it go, for sanity’s sake.

Post # 8
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

If she is always late and insists on having her hairstylist do her hair, could you give her a fake time you need her at the house by?  I totally understand wanting to have your bms be there the morning of, but if she doesn’t get her way, is she going to rude and grouchy toward you?  It might be better to let her have her way with the hairstylist, but tell her you need her at the house an hour or so BEFORE when she actually needs to be there.  If you’re starting pics at 2:30, for example, tell her the photographer will be there at 1:00 so she has a big buffer of time during which she can be late but won’t ruin any of your plans.

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