Post # 31
She told you this and asked you to keep it confidential and you blabbed? Wow — if I were you, I’d be looking overmy shoulder for some shitty karma that’s about to come your way.
It is wrong that she cheated and it is just as wrong of you to betray her trust in confiding in you.
Post # 32
I’m afraid of what you said…that she is going to blame everyone else. She has always played the victim and I see this going down as no different.
I kept quiet as long as I could. When she called me and I got so upset and sick over it, I had to let it out to someone. I also got very upset with my Fiance when he got drunk and told his best man…because I knew FI’s best man and my BM’s husbands sister are very close. It was just a matter of time before best man brought it up to the husband’s sister.
Yes a shit storm is definitely coming and I don’t know why, but I feel like it’s my fault for telling Fiance in the first place…which is crazy, because she is the cheater…not me!
Yes I agree that she wants it to come out in the open. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t be telling multiple people. :/
Post # 33
If you read my last post, I only “blabbed” after she called me without any warning while I was at work and had a one sided convo in front of her husband using me as a cover up. I felt so guilty about it that I had to get it off my chest.
Post # 34
I think its bullshit that people think you should have kept her dirty secret. Thats an unwanted burden to bear, as is involving you and you had every right to tell your Fiance.
Now your Fiance on the other hand… should have kept his mouth shut. But in the end… she dug this grave and now its her turn to lie in it.
Post # 35
Yeah people can say that they would keep a secret like that…but it’s a lot different when you are placed in that position. It felt like I was lying to my Fiance by not telling him. It’s a really crappy situation to be in :/
Post # 36
If she always playd the victim, and blames others, that will probably happen to some extent when this comes out. I hate to tell you this, but you may have a hard time with this. Especially if she tries to blame you or make it your fault because you told your Fiance (I would have, and did, do the same thing. Its her own mess and she needs to clean it up) but you have to decide if you want to support her and keep her as a friend, or let her deal with her mess and not help her out by taking any blame. If she was having an affair, and telling people to keep it a secret she was obviously trying to show it off, and thats not something to be proud of. If her husband is a jerk that is a good reason to go to counseling, not start sleeping with a coworker. Again, if I was youI would conpletely remove myself from all aspects of this situation. It is between the two of them. They obviously have some marital problems to work out, and having all of their friendsnoses right in their business will not help them work through this.
Post # 37
OP, I feel bad for you being caught in the middle of this… But if her husband is borderline abusive, she could probably do with a heads-up. You had a bad dream and ‘accidentally’ told your Fiance (would it really be stretching it that much to say you said something as you were waking up from a dream super upset and he extrapolated?) and you’re worried that her husband is going to find out because of it. Bottom line. She made her bed and will be sleeping in it, but does she deserve possible violence? At least, let her have the heads-up. She may be mad at you, but she will probably try and connect dots afterwards.
Post # 38
honestly I can’t relate to how you’re feeling at all. One of my best friends cheated on her bf and she knew I did not support her decision to cheat. But she is my friend and was clearly going through something and I was there for her. She also used me as an alibi to go see her lover but didn’t tell me until after the fact. I did not go blab to my DH. She has since broken up with the guy she cheated on and then I did tell my DH, who had his suspiciouns but he never asked me because he said it was non of his business. But if my DH had asked me at the time of course I would have told him but I wouldn’t tell him just to ease my guilt because I wasn’t the one cheating so I didn’t feel guilty! Idk I think you should give your friend a heads up but if you don’t care for your friendship to her I guess it doesn’t matter.If you care about her definitely try to be there for her during this shit storm she’ll need someone.
Post # 39
Her infidelity will be exposed sooner or later. She alone is responsible for her actions and the inevitable fallout.
Post # 40
I would tell my husband too… I don’t get why people are jumping on you about that. But then my husband would not just go and blab to someone else… that’s a bit odd IMO.
In any case, she cheated.. she was dumb enough to do that, and then dumb enough to tell multiple people… she should not be surprised that it’s going to come out. She probably realizes this is going to come out and maybe even told multiple people on purpose… it’s her way out of a bad marriage.
Post # 42
Eeek! Hope this doesn’t affect the wedding!
Post # 41
I’m sure she will try to place the blame elsewhere. I am going to try and be there for her, but then again I think I need to remove myself from the situation like you said.
That’s actually a good idea. I do feel like I need to give her a heads up.
LadyX: Well that’s good for you that you kept the secret from your DH, but I felt like I couldn’t keep it from Fiance any longer than I had.
That’s what I keep telling myself but I can’t help but feel bad.
Yep…but I was very upset with him when he told his best man. Stupid boys and alcohol!
Post # 43
I still think you need to tell her, for her and their sons sake, from the way you’ve described the husband.
Post # 44
Anonymous_Bee20: it’s her own fault for telling multiple people. Secrets aren’t secrets if you go around and TELL everyone your business.
Like others, I think she’s talking about it to people because it’s wearing on her and she wants to be caught.
Post # 45
I would for sure tell my SO, op. Don’t stress. U didn’t make her cheat. If she told lots of ppl then there’s little chance she’ll track it to you. U did nothing wrong. She did.