(Closed) BM is such a *$#*(&J(@#*$&!!!

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

That is super lame.  I think she’s living in a little bubble right now and someone needs to burst it.  I don’t think you’re overreacting a bit, but I do think it’s worth havinga  serious conversation with her to get her full side of the story nonetheless.  ((hug))

Post # 5
2249 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

((hugs)) at this point I would expect nothing and then anything positive will be a plesant surprise!

Sometimes you find out how self absorbed your friends are and how one way a relationship is when you ask them to do something for you!

Post # 6
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

That is crazy lame.  How inconsiderate!  Honestly, I don’t know if you’ve already done so- but I’d ask her directly what the issue is.  There comes a point where you can’t be passive anymore!  I would be sure not to sound combative, but you have to be direct.  Maybe she’ll open up to you when she’s confronted.  If she doesn’t, I’d only give her the bare minimum amount of information.  Seriously, like when the rehearsal is and what time to show up for the wedding.  If she cares to know the rest, she should contact you.

Post # 7
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

YEah don’t let her ruin the party! You seem to have other true friends that are way excited for you and happy to celebrate with you. So, no you are not overreacting…SHE SUCKS!! and might even be jealous!

I have a Bridesmaid or Best Man that is making me mad too. Read my rant here: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/bridesmaid-rant-1

Post # 8
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I too have ranted on here about a particular bridesmaid, so I definitely feel bad for what you’re going through=(  Just this week my wayward Bridesmaid or Best Man and I finally mutually decided she should just be a guest for the wedding.  Hopefully things will work out for you guys soon!

Post # 9
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

What is up with all the bad Bridesmaid or Best Man posts lately?? (myself included!)

I also have one like yours. She is totally wrapped up in herself, doesn’t respond to my Bachelorette evite, won’t write back to group emails, was teh last to order her dress and past the deadline. I was just a Bridesmaid or Best Man in her wedding so I’m pissed. Then she finally calls and announces she’s pregnant, again, all about her.

There’s nothing we can do about it unfortunately. If you are close enough with Maid/Matron of Honor, ask her to deal with it behind the scenes or at least tell Maid/Matron of Honor to deliver ALL messages to bad Bridesmaid or Best Man so you don’t have to deal with her. I’m just praying my Bridesmaid or Best Man shows up to the wedding on time! It won’t stop me from getting married if seh doesn’t though..

Post # 11
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

my question is, does she really at this point need to be a bridesmaid or even at your wedding???

Post # 13
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

boot her from the wedding party, solve all your problems.

You have plenty of reasons to list why… Id be interested to here her defence.. since you have FBook proof if she comes up with excuses.

Post # 15
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

It sounds like no matter what, you need to have a chat with your Bad Bridesmaid or Best Man. From the way you’re describing her, she sounds like one of my friends who usually flakes out on any plans we ever have and blames it on having no money. I’ve learned now that it’s just the way she is. I had a talk with her about it once, and she apologized for being flakey, but I think it’s just in her nature. She doesn’t know how to say no when she just doesn’t feel like doing something.

At this point, it sort of sounds like you don’t even want to be her friend anymore. And, a friend who brings up things from the past isn’t really much of a friend. If you do ask her to step down, you’re going to most likely lose her as a friend. You just need to ask yourself if you’re ok with that.

Sorry you’re going through this and hope things work out!!

Post # 16
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m wondering, and please Hive chime in on this idea…do you have to share anything with her?  She should be pestering you for details, so let her be self-absorbed?  What would happen if all your BMs ordered their dresses and she just missed the deadline and never ordered a dress?  She can’t stand up at the wedding without one…so couldn’t you put that on her and ask her to be a guest instead?  It’s not your responsibility to make sure she has the dress, it’s hers.  I mean if she has SO much going on in her life, she won’t have time to help you with the wedding, and it doesn’t sound like she’s reliable anyway.  I realize this is totally passive aggressive and probably won’t help your relationship…but even I am pissed at her for you!  I mean, come on!

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