(Closed) BM just backed out of my shower and bachelorette. It’s tomorrow!!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

((HUGS)) I know it sucks she backed out last minute but as a girl who went threw 2 pregnacys 1 with no morning sickness During the begining you are always tired…

But I also see where she is coming from you are going to be the center of attention the whole day and none of her “friends” other than you are going to be there. i am not saying that it is right at all she shouldnt have backed out last minute but her hormones probably are making her head a little funny lol…

Post # 4
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It sucks she backed out, but she’s not making up the feeling horrible part. Some women really do go through hell in the first months. And it’s not fair to hold that against her, and don’t take it personally.

Post # 5
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s unfortunate and sad, and if it wasn’t for her being pregnant I would be upset. But you stated that you have been pregnant before so I think you need to have a bit more empathy for your bridesmaid. In the first 4 months of my second pregnancy I woke up every morning feeling like I had been hit by a bus, the exhaustion was aggravating because its not like I enjoyed being rediculously tired every single day. And not to mention, clubbing doesn’t sound like most fun you can have when you’re knocked up. Just sayin!

Post # 6
Member
6823 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have to agree you are being a bit hard on your Bridesmaid or Best Man, as a current bride who just entered her 2nd trimester. I have had no morning sickness but have been exhausted as heck.  Cut her some slack. 

Post # 8
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@7-9-11bride: I mean this in the nicest way possible–please take a step back and re-evaluate your situation. I won’t bring up the BZ word but I honestly think you are taking it a bit too far. I don’t think your friend is abandoning you or trying to hurt you. She is pregnant, exhausted, and afraid to drive in the rain in these conditions–that’s not her trying to be petty because her friends didn’t come. I would say being pregnant she most likely IS tired and if I were the bride I could not blame her for not wanting to drive and put her unborn child at risk.

As for her feeling fine one day and bad the next…isn’t that a part of pregnancy? The whole ups and downs thing? I think you are being harsh and letting your emotions get the best of you. And even if she were too tired to drive two hours in the rain to sit in a hotel while you party it up–is it really a big deal if she celebrates her own anniversary??

I think you’re probably upset over someone else (MOH) not going to your bachelorette party and now with her giving a viable reason to also not go (and I find it viable IMO) you are getting emotional about it all. Don’t become the BZ. She’s pregnant, she’s tired, she’d have to drive two hours in the rain. That’s not an excuse…that’s common sense. I would have cancelled in those conditions also.

<3 to you and hope your party is fantastic!

Post # 9
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Feels to me like you’re grasping at straws to convince people that she’s blowing you off on purpose. It’s really hard to choose a weekend that works for everyone, and its unfortunate that this weekend doesn’t work for her. She shouldn’t have to reschedule her anniversary for your shower. That’s so awesome that your Maid/Matron of Honor is still going to make the three hour drive to your shower, you’ve got some really dedicated women standing up for you. I would feel uncomfortable demanding anyone make that kind of drive in the rain while they are pregnant, but that’s just me.

Post # 10
Member
46369 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

What it comes down to is that you have a choice how you feel. You can choose to be upset and angry, and that feeling will carry over into your shower and bachelorette.

Or, you can choose to let it go, have fun with those who can come and make some great memories.

Your choice.

Post # 11
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

To answer your question yes you are being unreasonable and bridezilla like. All my BM’s weren’t able to make it to my shower/bach party which was a 2 days before my wedding. I didn’t think they were abandoning me. 

Post # 13
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

That really sucks, I think she should still pitch in money at least since she’s backing out at the last second!

Post # 14
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Just saw your update, I’m glad you had a great time and you’re friends filled in her gaps- it sounds like you have a great group of friends!

Post # 15
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

well, i dont think you were being a bridezilla, you are entitled to your feelings and you felt disappointed and let down. its okay to feel that way. the question is how to react to the situation. i would not hold this against her and from how you described her (past issues), it sounds like her backing out is not something to be surprised about. so i think all you can really do is let it go and not let it ruin anything for you.  you can’t change or control other people, but you do have a say in how you let them affect you and how you react to situations.

Post # 16
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

also, while i have never been pregnant, so of course it is viable that she was really tired as she said, i think if i had been her in this situation, the first thing i would have done is offered to still pay my share since the backing out was so last minute.

The topic ‘BM just backed out of my shower and bachelorette. It’s tomorrow!!’ is closed to new replies.

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