Post # 1
The day starts at 8:00am for a 5:00pm ceremony (why we need 9 hours to get ready is beyond me), and the reception goes until 12:00am, then the after party goes until 4:00am (there is a shuttle from the ceremony/reception site to the hotel, so I can either leave at 12:00am with all the other guests or leave at 4:00am when the shuttle comes back for the “after party”).
I told the bride I didn’t think I would be going, but she said it was manditory for the bridal party to be there, so I asked if I could show up later (like maybe noon-ish) and she said that all bridesmaids must be there at 8:00 because everyone needs to stay while we are all getting our hair and makeup done, and it wouldn’t be fair for me to just show up later while everyone else was there on time.
I’m pretty set on not going to the after party. Check out at the hotel is 9:30 am, so that leaves less than 6 hours of sleep for me to get up and drive the 5 hours back home, and I don’t think that is the safest thing, especially after a 20 hour day where drinking is involved. I also have work at 6:00pm-2:00am Sunday (I had to pick up the late shift in exchange for getting the Friday and Saturday off) so working on top of so little sleep doesn’t sound that great. At least if I were able to sleep from 12:00-8/9:00 I’d get some pretty good rest.
I’m not, not going to the after party because I don’t want to continue to celebrate, but because we live in the adult world where people have to get up, drive, and go to work the next day. I tried explaining this to the bride, but she told me that if I really cared about her and her wedding I would find a way to make it work. Ugh, it is just so fustrating. Sorry just needed to vent!
Post # 3
Yikes, sounds like the bride needs a reality check.
Post # 4
I’m with you. A 20 hour day sounds like pure torture.
Post # 5
9 hours does seem like an extremely long time.
I’m not sure why she thinks you need that long, unless she has ALOT of bms. [like, 12].
Is it possible you can join the after pary for just a few hours? Maybe until 8:00 pm or something? Then leave early?
Post # 6
She is being unreasonable. I say just sneak out with everyone else at midnight.
Post # 7
This bride needs to get back in touch with reality. Not everyone wants to party until 4am. Not everyone wants to party until midnight for that matter. It sounds like you’re already gladly making sacrifices to be part of the bridal party and that’s cool, but expecting someone to party like a rockstar until 4am after being up before 7am and then sleeping 4hrs to then drive 5hrs and work 8 hrs….um, no. If she doesn’t already know your timeline on the Sunday, make that clear and just say of course you’d love to be there til 4am but you just can’t. The end. If she can’t understand that, she’s being unreasonable. Perhaps you could quietly sneak out at 1am and in her party-haze may not notice?
Post # 9
There is NO WAY I’d be going to the after party either.
After the reception is done I couldn’t ever imagine wanting to go out I’d ready for bed.
She is being totally unreasonable. What do the other members of the bridal party think?
Post # 10
Uh… A 20-hour day is ridiculous. I would be sobbing hysterically by the end of it.
I would also tend to think she should have hired a second (or third if necessary) makeup artist to make getting ready go more quickly… I have to have my girls there at noon for a 5pm ceremony (with pics beforehand) and already that seems rough to me. (And my wedding ends at 10:30!)
I’d withdraw from the bridal party if she won’t see reason on this…
Post # 11
@jenilynevette: There are 4 bridesmaids and the bride. The reception doesn’t end until 12:00am (midnight) and the after party goes until 4:00am.
@Handful: This is exactly what I plan on doing because there is no reasonable way that I can keep going until 4:00am. Not sure how the bride plans on doing it either!
@geekspice: I thought my wedding day of 9 hours was pure torture! I cannot imagine being the bride for a 20 hour day. I hardly got any sleep the night before, and was exhausted by the end of it!
Post # 12
@Handful: Yeah, I agree. Just sneak out at midnight and if she really wants to get worked up about it, then its her problem.
Post # 13
I think SHE’S going to be in for a big surprise when she realizes she’s ready to crash after the reception! LOL. We were SO FREAKING TIRED by the time we left our reception (and it was only like 10pm!)
Post # 14
Honestly… unless the bride is coked up I predict she won’t make it to her own after-party. I doubt she realizes how exhausting attending your own wedding is. 🙂
Post # 15
She being ridiclous. I tend to find when I’m a bridesmaid at a wedding that I need my sleep esp because by the time they walk down the asile we been there doing things for hours.
Tell this bride to kick rocks and get a good nights rest. It’s not mandatory to make guest or wedding parties stay partying out until four. Trust me I can party with the best of them.
Post # 16
@LittleMissMagic: Dude. Your bride is crazy. I don’t know how old ya’ll are, but my 34 year old butt would be CRAWLING to the car at midnight after that long a day!
She sounds a little ‘zilla, so maybe just nod along happily and then, day of, give her a big hug at midnight and run like hell!