(Closed) BM… not so nice

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Could it be she is jealous?  If the girls took a vote, than majority rules. If you are having a long dress then she just needs to suck it up and wear the dress. And free beer and wine is better than nothing right?

Post # 4
931 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

My own bridesmaids snarky-ness has led me to really regret having anyone other than my sister stand up. So I don’t know how many words of wisdom I have other than to say, my Dad was probably right:

It’s not all about her. So she’s probably jealous of the attention, your day, your marriage, your fantastic guy.

In the end, she’ll suck it up and deal or else she will look like an awful person. Either way you win (in my opinion anyway).

Post # 6
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Ugh! How rude! If my bridesmaids hate their dress, I didn’t hear about it. You know why? Because that’s what friends do. They wear the dress that you want them to wear to your wedding and they get over it! It’s your day, not hers! Geez!

Post # 8
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Honestly I would say after your post about her celebration of her wedding got nixed, I would say it is definately she is jealous.  Just try to ignore her, it is your and your Fiance day not hers.  I know it is hard to ignore but sometimes you have to do that.

Post # 10
39 posts
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t know.  If she really does hate long dresses, then I think she should be allowed to express that.  Now if she said she was  refusing to wear it, then I would agree with you.  She doesn’t have to like it, she just has to do it.

I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man and hated the dress, so I can sympathize with her.  It sucks to spend money (and usually a lot of money) for a dress that you hate, and that you know you will never wear again. 

She obviously likes you enough to still participate in spite of that.  So I would not fret, and be thankful that you have a good friend.

Post # 12
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Lol here’s my advice.  I have several diva-esque maids that continue to be thorns in my bridal side!  I started out being very accomodating (much like you), including them in everything, allowing them to give me their opinions, etc.  I found myself feeling horrible on a regular basis because I had to hear about how the dress I picked was all wrong, the colors weren’t flattering enough for them, the beer type I selected was gross, etc.  Just never-ending.

Here’s what I did!  Whenever they give their “advice” or “opinions”, I nicely shut them down immediately.  I do it in such a way that they really can’t argue.  These are actual examples (showing you that we brides have similar problems!)

Example 1: Maid: “I hate long dresses.  I can’t ever wear it again because I have nothing to wear a long dress to.  And it’s going to be so hot and I won’t be able to dance.”  Me: “I’m having a formal wedding and long dresses are mandatory for a formal wedding.  I am going for a specific look for my wedding, and that is classy and sophisticated.  You should do short dresses for your wedding though.”  If she’s such a snob, is she really going to argue about you wanting a classy wedding?!


Example 2: Maid: “Only beer and wine?!  Whyyyyy?!”  Me: “People tend to get too wild when hard liquor is served.  Wine and beer keeps things under control and classy.  I don’t want a bunch of wasted people in all my pictures, it’s just inappropriate for a wedding.”  Again, is she really going to argue that you want a classy wedding?!


Example 3: Maid: “Why aren’t you having filet mignon?  All good weddings have filet mignon.”  Me: “My fiance and I are actually incorporating our own favorite foods and universally-liked foods into our menu.  Filet is not my favorite cut.  Besides, filet is nearly impossible to cook for a large group of people because it’s such a delicate cut and people like it cooked in so many different ways that we wouldn’t be able to please everyone.”  Is she really going to argue that filet is hard to cook for 100 people?!

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