(Closed) BM now engaged?

posted 9 years ago in Los Angeles
Post # 3
Member
3285 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

You’ve done great so far =)

Just roll with the punches.

Post # 4
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

i honestly wouldn’t worry about it.. even if she sets her date before yours it may have more to do with her personal situation and her fi’s personal situation than trying to one up you :).  I think that it would be so awesome to get to share this important time in each other’s lives!! (HUGS)

Post # 5
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Whoa, you may be getting ahead of yourself. Wait until she announces the date they’ve chosen and once she does, if you feel she is the kind to take ideas, don’t tell her anything–or intentionally mislead her. You can always say “Oh, well we’re keeping some elements of the wedding a secret for everyone–we want everyone to be surprised!”

Post # 7
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

No, no, don’t feel like it’s a stupid worry. I mean, if she’s the kind to do something like that, it’s legitimate.

I would just tone down the talking about wedding plans. Leave it to either little things, like “We’re narrowing down invitation styles” or big things like “we’re probably going to leave by limo.” Neither of those things is specific, but satisfies those who ask about your wedding while she’s around or, if she’s the one doing the asking!

And you should totally hang out with us in the hive more, we’d love to have you!

Post # 8
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think its a big deal if she sets her date before yours as long as she doesn’t use your exact ideas or your plans for her wedding it should be fine! I think it would be an exciting time to plan your weddings together.

Post # 9
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Two out of my three bridesmaids are engaged, and we’ve had so much fun! There has been no “stealing thunder” or anything like that; it’s been perfect!

Post # 11
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Hello! I am in the exact situation as you, but reverse! My gf and I are getting married 6 months apart.

Honestly, I was there for my gf the entire wedding planning process and learned so much because she was already ahead of the game. Its 2 separate weddings, 2 different ladies. Two totally different weddings.  There is no reason why the both of you can’t have each other’s support at this time. If anything, it will bring you closer—just watch!

But the situation with her getting married before you—you have to thik that its more about her circumstances and situation than it is about you. If this is out of character, I guarantee she is worrying about how this makes you feel, too. Just talk to her about it!!!!

 

Post # 12
Member
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I kinda did that to my friend.  I’m a Bridesmaid or Best Man in her wedding and got engaged after her and getting married before her.  I was worried she would be upset, but I’m getting married 3 months before her, so it’s not like our shared guest list has back to back weddings, and when I spoke with her about it, she understood the reasoning behind our date.  She was really cool about it, even though she still teases me.  Esp, since when she got engaged, I told her she wasn’t allowed to get married before me because she is younger than me.  When me and FH set the date, I hadn’t remembered that conversation.  She just reminded me this weekend at my bachelorette party!  haha.  I think she will understand to not steal your thunder.  You’re getting married in 5 months, do you think she could get a wedding planned in that amount of time?  Probably not.

Post # 13
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Yep, my friend got engaged first, but I’m getting married almost two months before her.  It all came down to circumstances.  I was offered a great reception site for free, but it had heat and no air conditioning.  Her month of May would have been perfect but I didn’t want to step on her toes too much, so I had to move it up to avoid the summer heat.  My mom already had plans in April, so March it is!  It really had nothing to do with getting married first.  We were also offered black tablecloths for free which was already one of her colors too, so I’m trying not to copy her too much, but she seems to understand really well!  She knows that there are a couple of weeks I won’t be available for her showers and such, but when my wedding is over, I’ll be completely there for her!

Post # 14
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Definitely don’t feel like it is a stupid worry. Your concerns are understandable. We have had a super long engagement (it will be 2 1/2 yrs by the time we get married) and in those past 2 yrs we’ve seen more than our share of couples get married before us. I’d say be mindful of the info you share if you are both having a full on wedding. One of my bridesmaids got engaged and married within three months of mine. We didn’t even have a chance to set the wedding date before she got married! Even worse I didn’t approve but I tactifully kept my mouth shut and she didn’t have a wedding per say, just a small very uncomfortable ceremony and a dinner a couple of months later. Still, it kind of sucks that she can call this guy her husband that doesn’t even know the meaning of the word and my fiance is STILL my fiance after 2 years. LOL It will all work out and I hope you have fun having someone to plan with. 🙂

Post # 15
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee

I would just go with the flow and try not to worry about it.  As long as her date is not a week or two before yours, you will be fine.  You will have different guests (other than the friends you share)  By The Way, I always think of worst case scenarios too!

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