- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
My friend recently got married and I was one of her many MOH. I did all that I could showed up to all the fittings and to try on dresses, her shoulder to cry on, etc. Her family is from out of town so I was there for everything, threw her Bridal Shower while I was unemployed with little help or participation from others. When the week of the wedding came, things changed. I informed her that I would not be able to attend the Bachlorette party due to different views, and she was upset. I knew she would be but it’s almost like she expected me to be someone I wasn’t, I have never been the one to attend parties or go to clubs.
Once her friends got intown including her other MOHs things changed, she was rude to me. She was frustrated at the rehersal and she was standing in the middle and me and the other MOH were on both sides. I told her don’t worry everything will be find and she turned away from me and commence to have a convo with the other friend, ignoring me. Everytime I offered my help she rolled her eyes, and had an attitude. I found out that the other MOH would hold the rings and that her flowers were slightly different, like she was the main MOH which was confusing to me, I figured we were all the same, especially since the girl always had something mean to say about anything. That night when we were all at the house family and BMs I asked her “Well, let me ask you the question everyone else ask me, when are you getting married?” Her response was, “I don’t know but I would never ask a man to marry me” in front of the bride, which I thought was really rude.
The day of the wedding, things were the same the bride was still rude, didn’t want my help with anything, caught an attitude with me that morning when all I said was “You are going to have a beautiful day” . And I know weddings can be stressful but she was only being mean to me, it felt like mean girls and I had become the outcast, I really felt like we were in HS.
I tried to hold my composure for the rest of the day but really did not want to be there. After the wedding was over we did not talk for a while because I did not know what to say, I was really hurt and just felt that we weren’t friends I was more of a convience to her. When we finally talked I told her everything, she apologized and I accepted. I believed her and I knew weddings were stressful so I let it go.
A few months later the tables turn and I get engaged, my fiance threw a suprise dinner with close family and friends. A week prior she calls and ask what am I doing the day after, I said nothing cluless about things to come. Then the day after comes, and her reason for making plans was because she did not show up, I get it things happen. But the problem came when I called her and asked her what was the plan and she replied IDK, and then later on she texted me that she would not be able to come because her ankle was bothering her. The same ankle that was hurting since the previous week, and the same ankle that she was using at the party she attended while she missed the engagement party. I was mad because I cleared my Sunday and she didn’t even have anything planned, then she didn’t call she texted me to let me know she was not coming.
There was another function ( non wedding) that she missed, and told me the day before something came up. She was having car trouble, eventhough her husband has a car and drove the same car to work 2hr trip three days instead of driving her husbands and he works 5 min away from their resident. So the issure could not have been that bad.
Recently, we just had our party for the BP and I let everyone know 3 weeks in advance and how it was important for them to show up, we suprised them at the function. We paid, you just had to get food and your own rentals. About 20 dollars. So the day of she told me she would not be able to come because they budgeted their books and they just didn’t have it.
Once again I understand things happen but I also know if something is priority you will make it. It wasn’t expensive and I told her in enough time where they could have put the money to the side. It is frustrating because I have been there for her but I feel that it is not being returned. She always talks about how excited she is and how she wants to participate in everything but so far she has not been doing anything. I feel how can I trust her to be a BM and be there for me she has not been there yet, and given the past we have had I just dont know. I mean is she really here for us or does she just want to be in someone’s wedding?
Bees, I need help. Apart of me wants to just move on, because I don’t feel like it is worth it. But a part of me does not want to be insensitive to others situation.