(Closed) BM problems….need advice please

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Make her pay the rush fee. She’s the one who decided to order late!

Tell her if she doesn’t have a receipt of paying for the dress by March 3rd or something, she’s not going to be able to be in the wedding–that you gave her plenty of time. But, you know, say it nicer.

Post # 4
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Correct me if I am wrong but they pay for their own dresses, so she will be the one stuck paying the rush shipping on the dress.  But politely ask her if she is having second thoughts about being a part of the wedding, could be she (like many others now days) is having some financial difficulties and just hasn’t been able to afford to pay for the dress.

Post # 5
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

So annoying!  I’d tell her one more time that she needs to go NOW, and honestly, if you’re close to her, I’d tell her she is responsible for the rushed delivery charge.  If she doesn’t get back to you, I don’t know what you would be able to do.  Maybe get her a dress on your own but that would probably turn out really bad.   Yikes, I hope she cooperates!

Post # 6
Member
368 posts
Helper bee

Yeah, that does suck. I would keep gently reminding her and maybe check in with your brother. Instead of “telling” on her, I would approach it like a concerned SIL, like “hey, I know ___ hasn’t gotten her dress yet and hasn’t been returning my messages! I’m worried! Is everything okay?” then you come off as a sympathetic SIL and not a demanding bridezilla!! πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

sometimes i find that being nice to people like this just doesnt work and that i need to be firm and almost mean…to get the point across. you need to just tell her that it is past the deadline and if she doesnt want tobe in the wedding to let you know now before it goes any further. It seems like just reminding her and telling her nicely doesnt work..

Post # 8
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I had to go pay for the dress for my Maid/Matron of Honor because she’s been pushing off going to buy it and after a while I found out she was having finaniclal issues but didnt want to tell me until I kept pushing her to get the dress (the fact is the dress was on clearance and would of been discontinued soon), so I purchased it to decrease stress and drama for myself.  She will give me the money sometime this week when she has it but for the past weeks it was one less thing for me to stress about.  

Post # 9
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I agree with LaborOfLove, totally.  Also, I’d call your brother and gently vent to him that she is slacking and holding up the process.  Maybe he can put a bug in her ear.  And if not, he can’t complain to you if she gets cut.

Post # 11
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Talk to your brother.  Have him take her to the store and pay for the dress.  My brother’s SO is in my wedding party, and I go through him when I don’t want to deal with her! Surely your brother will understand!

 

Post # 12
Member
946 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry, I know this is a serious post, but every time I see the title on the boards, I read “bowel movement problems”.

 

 

Post # 13
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ugh- this sucks.  I would definitely make her pay the rush fee.  I think that whole thing about color matching is bunk anyway- look at how many brides purchase J Crew dresses or go to macys or something and buy their bridesmaid dresses- you can NEVER tell in the pictures, contrary to what bridal shops will tell you about “dye lots”.  I’m sure Melissa Sweet dresses are no different….

Post # 14
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

lol @Miss Biner!  πŸ™‚ 

@OP – I’d call her, tell her that she’s got to order it TODAY, and if she doesn’t, you love her dearly, but the dresses have to be ordered and you’re going ahead.  If she can get a dress on time, on her own, then you’d love to have her still be a Bridesmaid or Best Man (hehe).  Otherwise, tough luck.  Or, maybe if she can’t/won’t get a dress in time, you can ask her to be a reader instead, as a gesture of inclusiveness.   

And I agree with Miss Root about the dye lots – I think that it’s okay if the colors are not exactly the same – they’ll be so close that no one (except maybe you) will be able to tell. 

Post # 15
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

What ever happened with ths SIL amberdawn28?

Post # 16
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I would call her back tomorrow and say, just wanted to see if you got the dress ordered and to let you know that since you missed the deadline you will have to pay a fee to rush order the dress. 

My SIL hasn’t gotten her dress altered and my wedding is in 15 days! Yes 15 days!  Easter is in there too so subtract the holidays! I’m getting a little peed! with her because this is typical behavior.

So I guess it must be a SIL thing πŸ˜‰

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