(Closed) BM situation… Am I being petty?? What would you say?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Let it go. You knew this about her before selecting and asking her, so that’s just who she is! It’s no different from asking someone to cover a tattoo, scar, or birthmark, or to lose weight. 

Post # 4
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Petty. Let it go.

Post # 5
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That’s being pretty picky

Post # 6
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I can see where you’d be concerned, because that fake tan hue isn’t exactly flattering. But you did choose her to be in your bridal party, and you do care a lot about her. I think if you brought it up, it could potentially hurt your friendship. And besides, on the wedding day, I don’t think you’ll be thinking about her tan anyway. And if the photographer is a decent one, I’m sure he/she will find a way to balance out her presence in the photos if it’s truly noticeable.

Post # 7
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think I would be like, “Yo, stop tanning. I don’t care that you’re going to look darker than the rest of us in the wedding pics, but you’re slowly possibly killing yourself. Cut that out.”

Post # 8
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think let it go. She’s your friend and you love her and when you guys are old you can look back at these pictures and laugh! One of my Bridesmaid or Best Man offered to cover her tattoo but I said no because it’s part of who she is. I’d prefer to remember my friends as they are rather than erasing perceived flaws. Don’t worry about it. You can always have the photos printed in black and white… Or sepia!

Post # 9
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Let it go, it’s her choice to tan to that extreme, it wouldn’t be right of you to want anyone to change anything about themself just for your wedding, that would be selfish.

Post # 10
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

She can’t untan with a week to go even if you had the gall to ask her so let it go. 

Post # 11
650 posts
Busy bee

Though I understand your concern, I think there is nothing you can do at this stage and since you knew that she loved to tan when you asked her you should have thought about it at that point. You might offend her too by telling her  you dont want her to tan because of how you think it would look in your pics

Post # 12
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yeah orange Bridesmaid isn’t great for pics, but I agree with PP’s you can’t ask her to stop and honestly she couldn’t untan it up.

Post # 14
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Give her some skin bleach.  


Um.  Just kidding. 

Post # 15
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

This woman is your friend, not someone you hired for pictures. The most important thing is that she’s with you at the wedding, right? 

Post # 16
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

It’s not petty to think it, but would be to say something. Let it go.  Once she sees how silly she looks in the pictures she may decide to quit the fake and bake.

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