(Closed) BM told me I was stupid to even consider having a baby

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
1352 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Sounds like she’s jealous… 

Post # 3
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Eek! Well she probably is struggling with some of her own things, and may have trasfered some onto you. Perhaps she wishes she would be having a baby at that time or she is just genuinely concerned for you!

Post # 4
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Also she didn’t say you should never consider just not right away. I hope you can patch things up with her and have a wonderful wedding with her!

Post # 5
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

This might be her plan and she couldn’t understand why someone would want to do something different. I would just let it go and not let the awkwardness continue. Just go back to normal.

Post # 5
Member
879 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i wonder is she is possible a little jealous, maybe she thought she would have kids before you.  And if thats the case I am sure it would be a subconcious reaction.

Has she been trying to get pregnant at all, if she was having trouble with falling pregnant that could explain such an extreme reaction as well.

Post # 6
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

yea its probably a jealousy thing.  My sister tells me not to have kids until I’m 30 (which is quite a few years away).  I think she just wants to be able to catch up with where I am in my life.

Post # 6
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

yea its probably a jealousy thing.  My sister tells me not to have kids until I’m 30 (which is quite a few years away).  I think she just wants to be able to catch up with where I am in my life.

Post # 8
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Don’t let her be the reason you put off children!!!!That’s solely between you and your man to decide. Don’t let a friend be a factor in that. It’s your life, not hers.

I agree with the other bee’s and I agree with you. Get married and have children! No one is ever 100% ready for that! And every person is different. It’s hard dealing with people (specially those close to us) that are too set in their ways to be open to anything else or be understanding that what’s good for them, isn’t going to be good for everyone.

If you have a little one, it will be next to impossible for her not to be happy for you! They are too darn cute! But if for any reason she is… well that just doesn’t sound like much of a supportive friend. = I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. Extra stress of any kind isn’t very welcoming.

Post # 10
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

yay! =) Glad your feeling better about it!

Post # 12
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I feel like maybe she just went about saying it in a very wrong way perhaps?  I think a lot of people think it’s good to wait on kids for a year or two (depending on your age I guess, please no one take offense, I just mean for biological clock reasons lol) because many people think newly weds should go travel and see the world/do all the things that aren’t so easy to do once you have a newborn/new family…  My newly married best friend and I have had a discussion about this and she’s planning on waiting far longer than me (I totally just bought a 5 pack of onesies that I originally was giving as a gift but now that I love the patterns so much that I am packing them away in my cedar chest for a few years from now 😉 ) My fiance and I want to wait at least a year until we’re settled into a place we want to live/nice community and with jobs we like (we plan on relocating after the wedding) so it may be 2 years even…  If you want to start right away, that’s absolutely up to your FH and you and she should 100% support you, but to have a discussion about why waiting a little while might not be a bad idea isn’t a terrible offense I don’t think… Unless she came off bitchy 🙂

Post # 13
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Woodstock:  I’m so sorry! Gah and here I thought it was just getting better! That’s really too bad. But it’s good that you can be grown up about it and not let it stress you!

 “for me and my religion with marraige comes starting a family and having kids” and I feel like a close friend should know that and respect it. I’m the same way. and honestly i’m really glad to have found someone else who is!

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