(Closed) CLOSED

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
2257 posts
Buzzing bee

Why are you planning your own shower? Did any of them offer to throw you a shower, or did you just assume they would do that for you if you gave them enough “tasks” to do?

Bridesmaids do not have to do anything but buy their dress and shoes, and show up for the wedding. You’re giving them “tasks” and making them pay money they might not have. This is not part of the description of what a Bridesmaid or Best Man has to do.

$250 for the shower for each bridesmaid is RIDICULOUS. I’m just gonna say it. And it sounds like you’re orchestrating the whole thing.

It’s one thing if the Maid/Matron of Honor gives everyone tasks. But that’s not the case here.

I really can’t blame your Bridesmaid or Best Man for saying she might have to back out. You’re WAY overmanaging them, and bossing them around. You need to lower your expectations of them.

Post # 3
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

FutureWifey2016:  That is alot of money to a lot of people for a shower. Have you asked or considered the other BM’s budgets? I would be pretty overwhelmed if you asked me for $250 for the shower, and then I knew I was going to have to pay for the bachelorette, dress, and have a wedding gift etc.. Why don’t ask them their budget and ask them to help come up with alternatives.

Post # 5
23 posts
  • Wedding: November 2015

Since I don’t know the Bridesmaid or Best Man other side to the story, I can’t give an opinion on whether or not she has the right to be upset. I’m sure in her head her feelings are valid. That being said, yes I believe you have every right to feel frustrated and angry. If she didn’t like the plans, she should have gotten involved. It sounds like you have her every opportunity to voice her thoughts and contribute. Also,  250.00 sounds extremely reasonable. And for that price for just the few of you, it sounds like you really did your best to find good deals! 

Post # 7
3225 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

justwondering2015:  op is a bridesmaid not the bride. Right? Either way a 1000$ shower is RIDICULOUS. I wouldn’t even contribute $250 to a bachelorette never mind a shower. 

Post # 8
4242 posts
Honey bee

You sound exhausting, honestly, and $250 per person is ridiculous. Since when do bridal showers need to cost $1000+? Being in a bridal party shouldn’t involve constant emails, texts and conference calls. 

Post # 11
47252 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

FutureWifey2016:  I think you made it clear that you are a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a friend’s wedding.

Everyone has the right to their own feelings.

No matter how you feel you handled things, at least one Bridesmaid or Best Man does not feel heard.

You said you sent emails after every step, but did you get responses and approval from the others? They have to own their part of the problem if they didn’t respond, but hopefully you didn’t take a lack of response as approval.

I don’t know what’s common in your area, but where I live bridal showers are still most often held in someone’s home. There is no way I would be part of spending $1000 to host a shower.


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