(Closed) BM vent…hurt feelings

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Can I come find you and have coffee?  LOL.  I know exactly what you are going through.

We ordered our dresses in April, and they came in mid-July. 

My mom paid for my cousin’s deposit (50%) because she was short on cash. 

The dress is STILL at the salon, unaltered, 50% still due.  Umm, did I mention my wedding is in 6 weeks?

Post # 5
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I am going through the same thing (same deadline from bridal salon) and my wedding is near yours (April) . My bridesmaids that are family had picked out their dresses in August (we were all together for vacation) but two that are close friends never went. I actually took my best friend (maid of honor) myself about a week ago and I just emailed my other friend today giving her the deadline. Do you think if you tried to arrange it so they all go together that would help?

Post # 6
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I wanted to ask her, very nicely, if she wanted to back down.  I know she’s busy and all, and I wouldn’t really be that upset if she did.  The thing is, her two beautiful daughters are our flower girls.  LOL. Oh well.  If she ends up backing out, then we will end up with uneven numbers, but oh well.  Pick your battles I guess.

Post # 7
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Have you suggested making an appointment and you all going together to pick them out and buy them.  Make an afternoon out of it.  Call you girls and tell them you’d like to get lunch to talk about the wedding and go by the shop to get the dresses picked out and paid for.

Post # 11
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

You’re just gonna have to stay on them and make sure they get it done.  Make sure you communicate that the dresses must be ordered by a certain date or else you run the risk of not getting them in time or having to pay a rush fee on them.  Maybe tell them, if they don’t have time you can go and pick out a dress for them and try to figure out their size– maybe the fear of you picking the dress and ordering the wrong size would get them in gear.

Post # 12
Member
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Ugh!! I know your frustration! ((HUGS)) I am so sorry girl!

You think  your girls could just get it together, but know one knows until its their turn to be in the driver seat! And then they realize “OHHH!!!  This is stressful and hard” lol

My Matron of Honor has been a pain in my side to be honest….she just makes these stupid little comments and mind you, we have only gone dress shopping once together, as a group. I usually take my Maid of Honor, since she is my biggest concern due to her size, I want her to be able to find something most comfortable and flattering, and I know if it looks great on her it will look great on all the other ladies!

So for her to have the “balls” to say that to me…really got me heated…but I havent exploded yet and I am praying that I keep strong and show my Fiance the woman he is about to marry is self contained and strong, even through the stress of planning and working with people to make this all happen!

Best of luck!!!

Post # 14
Member
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I wouldnt pay for them, I would consider them not apart of your wedding,  you asked them to do something for to be in the wedding, I think you shouldnt have to buy their dress and make them wear it. If they were happy to be apart of this, they would have done this when they should have. I always believe in the “to have a lesson learned” mode, but I wouldnt ever think to do that to someone’s wedding! Im so sorry!

Post # 15
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

the good news is that they still have 3 weeks to get the order in. yes, it’s super, super frustrating, but lots of people don’t get things done until the deadline. and i think one of the golden rules i’ve learned on weddingbee is that no one cares as much about your wedding as you do. i think only 2 or 3 of my bridesmaids faxed the paperwork to the salon before the deadline, and 1 i had to follow up with a couple weeks after it passed because she was slacking. also, if it gets closer and they still haven’t gone back, maybe just assign them a style and have them send in their measurements and credit card info to the store. most my bridesmaids were out of towners, so they picked between 2 styles and just sent in paperwork. a few went to check out the dresses at stores where they lived, but they didn’t need to. as awesome and considerate it is to give the girls so many choices, it may be making them take more initiative than they want to or have time to now that it’s crunch time. i was just going to have the girls pick from any style in the same designer and fabric, but the lady at the salon convinced me that giving them fewer choices would actually be easier for them. they chose from a strapless or non-strapless style, and they were all really happy about it. or at least, they said they were 😉

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