(Closed) BM wants to bring her fiance/date to Wedding Day Prep! Help!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t think so. Stand your ground! Let her know that you wanted to spend time with just your bridesmaids the night before and the morning of the wedding. Her boyfriend can just drive down a little before the wedding rather than hours before. What guy wants to watch a bunch of girls get ready? Would it be possible for the fiance of the other girl to hang out with the boyfriend of your other bridesmaid?

Post # 4
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I completely understand how you feel. I am having all my girls stay at a hotel with me the night before { I am paying for hotel} I think its nice to have  a girly sleepover and then get ready together the next day. Is there no where else that their dates can stay because IMO having the two guys there really changes the whole dynamic and will also distract their focus abit. Ask them nicely that this should be a girls only night.

Post # 5
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

No, you arent being unreasonable at all.

I understand that the guy wont know anyone, but too bad. Its only a couple of hours! Are they staying at a hotel the night of the wedding? Cant he just hang out at the hotel for a little bit? Watch some TV and relax? Get some food? Grab a drink at the hotel bar? If I was a guy I would rather sit in a hotel room alone, rather than sit around a bunch of women getting their hair done.

Post # 6
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think so. I didn’t let anyone stay at our house the night before the wedding because we were around friends and family ALL weekend and I only wanted it to be my husband and me. If you only want the girls there that’s understandable. The last thing you need when you’re getting ready is some random guys there…it would make it difficult because you can’t walk around in your underwear.

It’s okay to do what’s most convenient for you on your wedding day since you have a million things to worry about. The guys could go to breakfast or something…I’m sure they can entertain themselves for a few hours.

Post # 7
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Is it really that big of a deal to have him there?  I’m sure you’ll be very busy with hair and makeup – you may not even notice.  I understand where you’re coming from, but your bridesmaids are driving in from out of town to participate in your wedding.  I’ve been the bridesmaid in this situation – sorry, honey, can you just go hang out at borders for the day?  or drive around town for hours? – and also the date.  In both cases, it’s awkward and somewhat frustrating.  This couple has already agreed to drive separately to accomodate your wishes, and that’s not too cost effective with the cost of gas these days.  Personally, I would strive to be inclusive of my bridesmaids’ loved ones and not inconvenience them considering the effort they’re putting in to be there for me that day and at all the other wedding events.

Just a different POV to consider.  All the best!

Post # 9
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I totally get where your coming from. Try explaining to your friends that this is a time for you to be with your girls – before you go off into married=world. Maybe propose the Fiance and Boyfriend share a hotel room the night before the wedding? And then they can hang out together while you girls get ready? You shouldn’t have to entertain the boys. The morning is about you and spending time with your ladies. I guess just try to stress how important it is to you to spend that time with your ladies and how much you appreciate them being there for you.

Post # 10
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@chirod: I think this is your one special day, their dates will survive one day without them.

Post # 11
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

How big is your place?  Maybe they could go in another room an watch TV or a movie.  I doubt they are going to want to sit there and have girl talk while you are getting your makeup done anyway, so this would be more comfortable for everyone.

Post # 12
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

If the guy is driving himself, I can’t understand why he wouldn’t just leave later?!

Post # 13
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@bakerella: I agree?

I know that it would make for a sucky boring morning for him, but really, how much better would hanging out with you guys while you get ready be? 

Post # 14
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

While I don’t think the actual desire is unreasonable, I think it would be polite to offer the dates something to do.  Special time with your girls is a lot more enjoyable when one of them isn’t silently worried about her date being in a bad mood because he had to drive in circles for a few hours.

Is there an area of the house where the boys can sequester themselves while you get ready?  Somewhere out of sight and mind?  Is there a Starbucks or similar close by to which you can direct them? 

Post # 15
Member
6825 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Stand your ground, it is your day. If you don’t want the guys there than make sure your BM’s know this.  I am sure there are other things in your town they can find something to do. 

Post # 16
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Im with bakerella on this, why cant he just leave later? Besides, he’s an adult im sure he can find something to do to occupy his time. If you allow him to come then the other Bridesmaid or Best Man will want her man to be there too. Dont feel like you need to have them there if you really dont want to.

The topic ‘BM wants to bring her fiance/date to Wedding Day Prep! Help!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors