(Closed) BM wants to wear bridal shoes, am I be unreasonable?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
3025 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Chill. You are getting upset over shoes.

I grant you that your friend is being a bit lame by not just doing what you want; on the other hand, no one is going to talk about her behind her back. Frankly, no one will care. And she doesn’t sound “sensitive” at all, so I doubt she would actually care if anyone did talk about her. (Plus, how would she know?)

Take a bath and drink some wine. That’s what I would do. (Also, I wouldn’t have bridesmaids, but that’s just me.)

Post # 4
954 posts
Busy bee

CuppaSarah:  Honestly, I would try to chill out about the shoes. If someone decides to talk about your BM’s shoes? Eh, not your feet, not your problem. It’s really not worth tying yourself in knots over.

Post # 5
1612 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Not worth getting stressed over shoes. Nobody will be looking at her shoes because they will be looking at how fabulous the bride looks.

Post # 6
1262 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

CuppaSarah:  1. Is this the battle you want to rage when in the middle of wedding planning?

2. If it really grates at you, have you tried to enlist other BMs and be honest about how her shoes, while lovely for her wedding, simply don’t go with her dress? Or just ask her straight up why she is being so stubborn?

3. Have you offered to buy her special shoes, one that she loves and can wear any other time, not just bridal shoes? I’m generally a big fan at throwing $$ at a problem and making them disappear. 

She sounds like a pill. But it is also a dangerous road to go down and speculate why someone might be behaving poorly when you yourself haven’t bothered to ask her. Don’t waste your energy with that. And I sincerely doubt that on YOUR wedding day, people are going to whisper and gossip about her shoes. 

Post # 7
14657 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Shoes are just shoes to me so I don’t understand the issue.  People pretty much wear any shoe as a bridal shoe now and just about any white, off white, or lace shoe, which you’ve OKed for your BMS  can be deemed “bridal” so I don’t see how her ivory choice could be anymore obviously bridal then say your other BMS dressy lacy or gold one.  What makes them “bridal” is the wedding dress worn with it IMO.

Post # 8
7358 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Nobody cares what’s on the bridesmaids’ feet. “bridal shoes” is just a silly concept made up by the wedding industry to make you spend more money and do more DIY. This is totally not worth batting an eyelash over.

Post # 10
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

And I quote, “I then figured the whole gold thing wasn’t really happening and asked the shoes to be gold, silver, tan, brown, burnt orange or off white. All those colours would look great with the dresses so no worries”

She picked a shoe that was on the approved color list. She did exactly what you asked of her. Sit down, have a drink or several and relax. None of your guests will notice your shoes, her shoes or anyone else’s shoes.

Post # 11
413 posts
Helper bee

You said off-white was fine, so ivory is kind of off-white, IMO.  You need to relax.

Post # 12
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

With the back story I get why your upset. She sounds like a handful. First of all great job on standing up for your self about the glitter, most people would be embrassed( not that there is any to be embrassed about) and wouldn’t be honest about it. 

They are just shoes but they are also part of the whole picture. I also worry with how she sounds that she would tell everyone at your wedding that those are her wedding shoes. What if you offered to buy her the bridal shoes as an early wedding present? That way she doesn’t have the excuse of saving money? Just a thought, if not im sure they will look fine!

Post # 14
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

What happens if a guest is wearing glitter shoes?

Post # 15
1654 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I really don’t know the difference between bridal shoes and regular shoes except for maybe that they’re white? I honestly don’t think anyone will notice but you. 

That being said, it is your day and Future Sister-In-Law should be more considerate towards what you want. 

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