(Closed) BM weirdness — what to do?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I suggest that the next time you see her (and of course making sure it’s an appropriate time/place to do so), tell her that you’ve been getting this vibe from her, and is something going on? That will open the lines of communication, just be sure to stick with “I feel” comments. There may be something going on that you’re not aware of and if there isn’t and she’s feeling jealous or like she’s losing you, she can address it, and you can let her know what your expectations are and what you need from her.

Post # 4
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Sorry to hear hun 🙁  Maybe its worth having one serious sit down with her to avoid anything bigger in the future

Post # 5
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’ve had issues with 2 of my bridesmaids, one of whom is now an ex friend. I know sometimes we want to talk about wedding stuff, but really it comes down to having good friends, and I think if you have a big chat with her and things don’t change you might need to reconsider the friendship. It sounds harsh, but I’m so sick of people who are shitty friends, and we all deserve to have awesome friends, not ones that suck.

Post # 6
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

aaww that sounds like a crappy friend…could she be jealous of your situation? Is she single and trying so hard just to hold on to a man longer than 5 minutes! I know its kind of a sad perspective but believe me it can happen, I have seen jealousy do major harm to good people.

Post # 7
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

That sounds really awkward, she isn’t being a very good friend or Bridesmaid or Best Man. I would give her the chance to explain herself. A friend and I nearly parted ways during her engagement. I wasn’t a Bridesmaid or Best Man (that was half the problem – I was upset about that, among other things) and was generally a cow to her. We are friends again now. But I really wish she’d called me on my behaviour, because it wasn’t healthy at all and could have saved us both a lot of heartache. Of course I wish I didn’t act that way in the first place 🙂 But if she’d asked me why, I probably could have figured it out and it would have been a great chance for me to learn an important lesson. ‘The Conscious Bride’ has some good insights into why relationships (like mother/daughter or with your girlfriends) can go through troubles during an engagement, it might be worth reading as it helped me sort through what had happened with me and my friend. Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Maybe she has something going on with her (something us brides forget…it’s not all about us), I would check and make sure she’s ok! Plus a year engagement is a long time to be “engaged” in the wedding process. If she is ok and just flaky, ask her if she really wants to do this….maybe the best thing for your friendship is to relieve her from Maid/Matron of Honor duty.

Post # 9
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

This sounds like jealousy to me, symptoms are there.  I agree that a discussion is necessary, or cutting her out.

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