(Closed) BM who hasn’t ordered her dress…

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

definitly talk to her about this. dont be rude or anything like that but politely ask her why she hasn’t ordered her dress. maybe something else is going on with her that you dont know about. explain to her why she needs to order the dress by the end of january and that everyone else has already ordered their dresses.

Post # 4
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m not saying pay for her dress, but what if you put the deposit down now and have her repay you later when she is back on her feet. When her dress comes in just ask her for the money then. It might save you a lot of headache and stress and your other BM’s never have to know.

My uncle lost him job the week after we went dress shopping so all of my girls had the deposit, but my cousin obv. hadn’t paid for hers so I didn’t say anything and put the money in up front. Noone even knows that I did that for her. Thankfully my uncle is working again so when the dresses arive I will just bring it up then.

Post # 5
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I would say definitely talk to her about it. Casually ask her in talking if she has had a chance to go by the boutique to order her dress. Even though you know the answer is no, it will at least open up the gates to be discussed. When she answers no, if she does not give you a reason, maybe just ask her if she needs help with the deposit at least. Explain that there is an urgency in getting it ordered quickly and the other dresses cannot be ordered without hers. I am sure she has either been to busy that time has escaped her or she is probably feeling pretty bad for not doing this yet.

I had a bridesmaid that took a while to order her dress as well. My siutation is different than yours though. She has ordered it now, but I am sure she had to pay a fee to have it rushed. All my maids ordered theirs way before she did. It can get a little frustrating, but just talk to her about it. 3 of my maids told me if I had not sent my occasional “How are we coming along on the dresses” emails they would have never realized that it was so close already.

Post # 6
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Could you put the deposit down at least and keep it on the DL in regards to your other BMs?  That’s what I would do…

Post # 7
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i’m unemployed and my friend offered to pay for part of my dress for her wedding, of course keeping it hush hush with the other bridesmaids. i didn’t feel embarrased or bad about it at all, i was very grateful! i would talk to her about it, and if she needs help with the deposit, it might be a good idea to bring that up.

Post # 8
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

I’d just call her up to remind her about it to start the conversation going. If it does turn out that she can’t afford it, I’d front the money for her, as a “loan” but I wouldn’t really expect her to pay me back.

What designer dresses are you getting? My girls will order their dresses in Feb and my wedding is in July. Since your wedding is in September, I’m confused about why they need to be ordered to early.

Post # 10
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Hmm.. you can’t really put down a deposit if you don’t know her size. B/c she will be paying the rest, so she should be able to choose. I would call her and say you need her measurements and if she needs help with the deposit you can pay for it.

Post # 11
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

Yes, you can call her and ask for her measurements and help her with her deposit.

I will say…that is a LOT of time for alterations… If you’re going with a reputable designer, I don’t think there’s any reason it has to be done this quickly – you can push back on the store.  Alterations on Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses are not nearly as complicated as alterations on wedding gowns…

Post # 12
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

You probably have a little bit more flexibility in timing the order than the boutique is telling you. Would it help your Bridesmaid or Best Man if you pushed back the order deadline a bit? Three months is a pretty big cushion – your girls won’t need 3 months to get there dresses altered. I may just be a super procrastinator, but I’ve never gotten a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress altered more than a month before the wedding 🙂

Post # 13
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I also think 9 months is way early to be ordering dresses. I think boutiques pressure us so we don’t change our minds and go elsewhere.  Mine did, they said it would take 5-6 months for Vineyard and they arrived in 7 weeks!  I would say ordering 5 months out would be really safe.  Plus if they get their dresses in May they may lose weight in the 4 months especially over the summer- the more time elapses the more changes needed.

Call another boutique that carries the same dress and as what is the latest time.  Then you could give your friend an extra couple of months..  worse case lend her the deposit money

Post # 14
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Try talking to her and explaining that’d you’d be willing to help if she doesn’t tell anyone. :o) That’s my best advice.

Post # 16
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

My advice is to talk to her first. After being in the hospital, having complications, and being off work, it is probably not in the forefront of her mind. And if it is, she may be worried about if she can pay for it, and whether or not it will still look good if she has scarring. She may also have gained a little weight since she’s been inactive. If it is a money issue and you can afford to pay for it, do. If she feels weird about that, tell her that it’s just a loan and she can pay you back when she’s up and running again. Meanwhile, the other BM’s don’t have to know and even if they did, it isn’t like you’re paying for hers and not theirs just for kicks.

The topic ‘BM who hasn’t ordered her dress…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors