Post # 1
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
Friend gets engaged. Friend wants you to be in bridal party! Friend is having a destination wedding where one will stay for 4 nights at $500/night (all inclusive). Oh and she’ll likely want a Bach vegas getaway or something similar. At this point I wouldn’t doubt the cost for the bridal party would run $4-5K, and outside my comfort zone. How would you approach this when the attitude is “oh you have months to save”, “but its my big day/wedding”, or “but your my friend and you should want to do this for me/if you love me” mentality? To be fair, none of the quotes above have been said, but it would not be a surprise if it were LOL.
feeling like a bad friend to step down, but this would so hurt my wallet. advice?
Post # 2
Member
47430 posts
Honey Beekeeper
FrenchToastnCoffee : ” I know you will have a wonderful wedding, but it is going to be too expensive for me to attend, much less be in the wedding party. My budget won’t allow me to do that and still meet my own goals for the coming year. I wanted to tell you as soon as possible that I have to step down. Let’s plan a nice evening for just the two of us so we can still celebrate together.”
Post # 3
Member
1824 posts
Buzzing bee
Pretty much what
julies1949 said. Make it clear that you are saving for other things and therefore saving for months for this isn’t an option.
Post # 4
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
This may sound bitchy and harsh, but if she says any of the things you mentioned above, I would seriously reconsider that friendship.
I would be up front and STAND YOUR GROUND – kindly, but firmly. Tell her what you are able to afford (maybe only 2 nights at destination with them and a simple “girls’ night out” bachelorette party locally, or 3 nights at destination and a simple cake-and-punch shower). You have to look out for YOU – this is not YOUR wedding, you do not owe her anything. And just being a guest is a gift in and of itself – as in, weddings should be about celebrating your marriage with your family and friends, not about getting every last thing you want from your family and friends. She does not get to control you! A true friend will respect your limits.