(Closed) BM/MOH nerves

posted 3 years ago in Money
Post # 2
47430 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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FrenchToastnCoffee :  ” I know you will have a wonderful wedding, but it is going to be too expensive for me to attend, much less be in the wedding party. My budget won’t allow me to do that and still meet my own goals for the coming year. I wanted to tell you as soon as possible that I have to step down.  Let’s plan a nice evening for just the two of us so we can still celebrate together.”

Post # 3
1824 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Pretty much what 

View original reply
julies1949 said. Make it clear that you are saving for other things and therefore saving for months for this isn’t an option.

Post # 4
53 posts
Worker bee

This may sound bitchy and harsh, but if she says any of the things you mentioned above, I would seriously reconsider that friendship. 


I would be up front and STAND YOUR GROUND – kindly, but firmly. Tell her what you are able to afford (maybe only 2 nights at destination with them and a simple “girls’ night out” bachelorette party locally, or 3 nights at destination and a simple cake-and-punch shower). You have to look out for YOU – this is not YOUR wedding, you do not owe her anything. And just being a guest is a gift in and of itself – as in, weddings should be about celebrating your marriage with your family and friends, not about getting every last thing you want from your family and friends. She does not get to control you! A true friend will respect your limits. 

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