(Closed) BMS and GMS sit or stand?

posted 7 years ago in Jewish
Post # 17
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’ve seen it both ways. It pretty much came down to how much space was under or surrounding the chuppah. Everyone sat for our wedding. There wasn’t even enough room for our parents to stand with us.

Post # 19
Member
3315 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Our wedding was Jewish, and the members of our wedding party stood with us.  The same was true at my son’s wedding.  They can stand under the chuppah if it is big enough, or to the side of it otherwise.  I think what your rabbi is talking about is a matter of preference, not a specifically Jewish thing.

Post # 20
Member
1464 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@gm234:  Hi! My ceremony will be 20-30 minutes, and they’re standing. I stood at my parents’ vow renewal, which was about 20 minutes. It was a little uncomfortable but not horrible. (Hence, I asked my BMs to wear flats- so they’ll be comfortable! and we’re outside on a lawn.) My rabbi is Reform, although I consider myself non-denominational, so it may depend on the rabbi, but I don’t think there’s anything in the Jewish tradition that says they have to sit or stand. 

My rabbi would probably say this: that the ceremony is a chance to tell a story to your dearest friends and family, the story of you and your new spouse. Including people in or around the huppah is part of that story. Perhaps, if you want your BMs and GMs to be standing with you, you can convince your rabbi that they are an important part of who you and your partner are as a couple and that you want the importance of those people to shine through the ceremony to your guests. 

Post # 21
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

At our Jewish Wedding, the BMS and GMS sat the whole time. We had seats for the parents as well and the Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man sat with the parents. Everyone was so much happier!

Post # 22
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I got married in the states but I am from Israel.. they don’t have that tradition of bridesmaids and Groomsman there. Since my other half is an American we decided to have them and they were Standing outside of the Chuppah ( we had only family standing with us,  just like they do in Israel). 

Post # 22
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

View original reply
gm234:  I’ve done both at a Jewish ceremoy… honestly I would rather sit. Standing in heels for 30 minutes vs. sitting, sitting wins!

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 2 months ago by  MangoSong.

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