(Closed) BMs didn't plan a bachelorette party for me?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: If I were in your shoes, I would feel...


    Mildly Frustrated


    Relieved (No party!)


  • Post # 3
    48 posts
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Maybe they will surprise you?!  If you really care then you could ask about it?

    Post # 5
    557 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Some BMs really believe the beginning and end of their duties are showing up on time for the wedding in whatever outfit the bride selects. Other BMs lavish more planning and effort on the bride/her wedding….maybe your girls are more so in the first category. Do you have another close friend that could put one together for you independent of your BMs? I’ve been to and enjoyed bachelorette parties that were planned by BMs or non-bridal party friends. If you want one, you should have one!

    Post # 7
    55 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

     The two bridesmaids that made a HUGE deal about a wedding shower/bachelorette party planned vacations right up till the day before my wedding, so I found out this week. One sent out an email about a shower, forgot to invite half the guests, and no one knows it is still a go. So I get your frustration. 

    However, I know they care deeply about me and are genuinely excited,  and I’m sure your friends care too. It’s just that people are idiots with time. They always think there is so much, forget about how consistently busy they are, and poof! It runs out. 

    Send them a message and ask them what’s the plan. It’s just easier. If they haven’t planned anything, plan it for them, or with them. Sounds lame, but remember how time-stupid the average person is, and don’t miss out because you thought they were better time managers. They aren’t. Maybe a little party is in order, or maybe a surprise is in the works!

    Post # 8
    2191 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Wow that sucks. I don’t know hat to say. I’d be upset though. 

    Post # 9
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Why not just email your bridesmaids and tell them what date you were thinking of and ask people if that works? Even if everyone can’t make it at least some people should be able to. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, maybe just reach out to the bridemaid you are closest with (which doesn’t sound like its your MOH) and bring it up, and hope that she gets in touch with the other girls.

    Post # 10
    273 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Mine didn’t plan a shower or bachelorette party. I was a bit sad because I’ve now missed the chance to experience them but in the grand scheme of things it didn’t matter. I got married and that’s all I really wanted ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 11
    8373 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    For various reasons, including distance, schedule conflicts, finances, and other factors, not every bride has a lot of pre-wedding involvement from her bridesmaids. The majority of my attendants lived out of state, so my two local attendants graciously hosted a shower for me (and one of the others generously participated from afar by making the favors.) My “bachelorette party” involved my two local attendants coming over to my house and ording take-out, and talking with me while I packed for my honeymoon. ๐Ÿ™‚


    Post # 12
    4835 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I’m sorry that happened ๐Ÿ™  I’d be hurt too.  At the end of the day you can’t let it get you down.  

    Post # 13
    1789 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

    There’s still time to organise your own, or it’s possible they’re going to surprise you as they said they would plan one.

    Post # 14
    3329 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    My party consisted on me paying for pizza for 8 girls ..they didn’t have money. Buying the cupcakes and the facepacks. Watching a crappy teen film. I was 26! There was no wine except for the bottle I bought.  Sometimes bridal showers/hen parties don’t always go to plan & out of the ladies who were there I speak to 2 on a regular basis & still count them as friends.  

    Post # 15
    354 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I’m sure they’ll be surprising you with something! How can BMs not plan a bachelorette party?!?!?!

    Post # 16
    305 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I know things are quite different in America, but I would just plan it yourself! I know you said no one was free the same weekend, oh well. Not everyone can make it to mine. Just pick what YOU want to do, the time, place, and tell them to be there!

    I’d be annoyed/upset to if they said they were going to plan it and didn’t ๐Ÿ™

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