(Closed) BMs dont care

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Aww, I’m really sorry, hun. That sucks. I would site down and talk with them individually and see what the deal is. If they truly don’t want to be in your wedding, give them an easy out. I would approach it as “Hey, I just wanted to touch base because I get the feeling you don’t want to be in our wedding, and I understand if that’s the case, but I wanted to check in with you to one, make sure you were okay, and two, express that if for some reason, you’re not feeling being a bridesmaid, that’s okay, just let me know, and there won’t be any hard feelings.”

I would give specific examples of why you feel hurt, and approach it as you being concerned about them as well (especially if this kind of behavior isn’t like them).

Mostly likely, because it’s so close to your wedding, they’ll want to be in it because I’m assuming they already bought the dress. But maybe they’ll get the hint that they’re being hurtful.

Good luck! Hugs!

Post # 4
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Sorry to hear that things are tuff for you. Just let them know that this is an important time in your life and you would appreciate their support.


Hope things get better

Post # 5
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I feel your pain………. and the one that doesn’t care is my Fiance step sister.  She could care less about the wedding and shows not even a little bit of excitement for us.  She lives about an hour away and lives in the country and we live in the city so we don’t see each other that often but I felt that she needed to be in the wedding because since my Fiance lost his younger brother last year we wanted to have our brothers and sisters in the wedding party.

When I first asked her she seemed so excited and couldn’t wait to help with anything that we needed.  Well that has gone out the window.  My Fiance parents are divorced and this is his dads daughter and my Fiance step mom is evil so a lot of it I think is the lacking support from her mom, my Fiance stepmom.

I paid for her bridesmaid dress and all I asked was for her to get her hair and makeup done with us.  Not to be rude but she really needs help with her makeup (wears way to much and her eye lashes look like a spider b/c she puts on way too much mascara) and her hair is always in a sloppy ponytail (which is fine any other time but come on it is a wedding).  To each is own but I wish she would want to spend the day of the wedding with my friends and family and enjoy the festivities.

And the dress issue, wow has that been a freakin’ headace.  I ordered her dress after getting her measurements that she went and got taken.  Yes when she told me what size she should get I thought to myself that doesn’t sound right but I didn’t question it because supposidly she went to a bridal store in her home town to get measured.  Well when she got the dress guess what….it is two almost three sizes too big so now she has to alter it big time.  Her dad (my Fiance dad) had the nerve to say that the stupid dress shop (I ordered it online) has screwed up but they didn’t.  What they don’t realize is the bridesmaid dress is not custom made, the size you get is for the biggest part of your measurements and hers happen to be her waist.

Obviously I needed to vent and I am over it!

Wow I feel a little better.

Good luck.


Post # 6
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think it is sometimes hard for brides (and people in general) to realize that what’s important to you won’t necessarily be important to others, even those you thought were close to you.  I’m sorry they’re not being supportive.

The topic ‘BMs dont care’ is closed to new replies.

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