Post # 1
Let me preface this by saying I love, love, love my bridesmaids. I am SO lucky that they are working so hard to host a beautiful shower for me. I never expected to have one, so I am extremely grateful that they are doing this for me.
Now the problem is the guest list. I have no family, and FI’s family is mostly out of town. We don’t have a house that the girls can host the shower at, so they are looking at cafe’s in the area that have private rooms. The problem is they all have a minimum guest requirement of 20, and I only have about 15-18 guests that I want to invite. This includes the moms, bridal party, and a few close friends.
Now the girls are asking if I can invite my moms friends (who ive never met), or distant relatives that I do not want there so they can meet that requirement. This is making me feel a. like a loser with no friends and b. like I need to meet a quota for a party and I do NOT want this.
I feel like 15-18 is a normal number, considering we are having a small 60-70 person wedding. Right? I just feel guilty but I would feel even more guilty inviting guests just to meet a magic number.
Post # 3
I think this number is totally normal, and quite honestly, I find the showers where 75-150 people are totally stupid.
My best friend is having her bridal shower next week and there will be about 15-18 people there…I think that’s a great number! Don’t stress and definitely don’t let people make you feel bad!
Post # 4
@Miss Orchard: Thank you!
Most showers I have been to are about 20-40 people, but all those brides came from huge families.
Post # 5
If the restaurant has a minimum of 20, you can all just agree that you will fund the minumum # of guests that the restaurant charges.
Or, you can work together to find another venue.
Post # 6
@julies1949: They wont let me help pay or plan anything. They want it to be a total surprise.
Post # 7
@Bostongrl25: I had a similar disagreement with my mom. She is used to larger showers, I had to show her websites that say 5-20 is normal.
However, I wouldn’t balk at a few extra of my mom’s friends. (Ok, I lie, I did at first, because I barely knew them.) But I’m not throwing the shower, she’s throwing it for me, and if it means a lot to her to have her friends there (that have invited her to all of their children’s showers) then she can go for it.
She only ended up inviting her closeset friend, who couldn’t make it anyway.
Post # 8
the problem with only giving her a bare mininum of 20 guests what happens if people dont come??/
i gave my moh a list and 40 invites(found a super cute one on clearance at target) only the bridal party(4 ) and 2 of the invited have said yes they are coming.. moh has gotten like 10 “nos”
we are having it at our church….
Post # 9
@asianyoushi: Yup, ive thought about that too. The summers are such a busy time for everyone, that Im sure a few wont be able to make it.
Post # 10
We’re having a 75ish person wedding….. we also have a lot of friends out of town. I think we’ll end up with around 20 people at the shower… and we invited like 25 or something. Don’t feel bad! A friend of mine had a 130 person wedding and she only had like 12 people at her shower. Another friend had an 80 person wedding and she told me today she had 18 at her shower. I agree….. I did not invite some of my parents’ friends that I’m not really close to…. and I also didn’t invite wives or girlfriends of my fiance’s friends – it felt uncomfortable – i just stuck to my female family members, friends, and mom’s friends who I have a good relationship with. Don’t let them feel bad – just keep searching for new venues or see if they can just let you keep the number you have if you can meet their minimum $ requirement.
Post # 11
mines next weekend… so spring/summer are a busy season.(also the fact moh just sent invites out last week probably didnt help get “yes”s
Post # 12
I would help them find another venue. None of them can have it at their place? Or you could find a park..?
Post # 13
Do what makes you comfortable and happy. Dont listen to anyone else. Im having a huge shower…but thats cause I come from I large family and so does Fiance not to mention all our friends.
Post # 14
Inviting randoms is out of the question unless you’re prepared to invite them to the wedding. I’m sorry you’re in this position!