(Closed) BM's present for HER wedding…

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
4726 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think you’re obligated to spend a specific amount of money just because she’s your Bridesmaid or Best Man, but if you want to do a little more because of your friendship, why not go with the glassware set for her and her DH and then add a small, more personalized item specifically for her that relates to your friendship or a special memory?


Post # 3
9575 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
texaslemon:  I don’t think you should consider AT ALL what she gave to you, the Bridesmaid or Best Man situation- any of it. She has a year to give a gift and honestly, when Im in a wedding I do delay the gift as there are lots of costs being a Bridesmaid or Best Man and I just couldn’t afford it all at once.

So stop considering everything else- it’s not tit for tat, or I Owe Yous- it’s a gift from heart. Put your hurt aside and do what feels right- I think 40$ worth of glassware from the registry is much nicer than a gift card. I agree with you- they’re too blunt.

Post # 4
6332 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Give her what you feel in your heart giving and can afford to give.  I never give a gift based on what I received, really despise the”Tit for Tat” approach when you are giving something that is entirely voluntary.

Post # 5
9079 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind. Don’t play the tit for tat game. It’s hurtful, it’s unfair and it’s cruel to everyone.

Post # 6
4171 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

I agree with PP’s, it’s not tit-for-tat. Put your hurt aside and buy her the same gift you would if you were a Bridesmaid or Best Man, or if she wasn’t your Bridesmaid or Best Man. Get her the glassware, then add in a little something, like the ingredients for her favorite cocktail, or a martini recipe book, or something that would go along with the glasses!

Post # 8
931 posts
Busy bee

What are you getting your other BM’s? I know for a fact that 2 of my bridal party wont ask me to be in their wedding party when they get married and likely the 3rd wont either since they have large groups of friends. I, on the other hand, have lots of aquantainces and few long term friends and wanted people I feel are important to me to share my special day. <br /><br />I have also only ever been in one bridal party and I am not asker her to be in mine. I dont think ANY of us care. <br /><br />Get all your girls something special for sharing your special day. As far her actual wedding gift….giver her cash to cover your plate. You dont have to go above and beyond for a wedding present. Or if you dont want to do that I think the glassware idea is beautiful.

Post # 9
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

View original reply
texaslemon:  Are you crafty at all? You could make something, or turn her glassware into a beautiful basket. Get the glasses and whatever alcohol you think would go with it, put it in a beautiful (can be used again) basket, lots of ribbon and tissue. You could add in personalized glass markers too, and a heartfelt card. That would be a beautiful and thoughtful gift… Bridesmaid or Best Man or not.

Post # 10
9524 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

a gift is a gift, it is not required.  if you want to spend less, spend what you want. but don’t compare apples to apples.


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