(Closed) BMs want to order smaller…what do I do??

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3119 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

NO NO NO NO NO NO!  This happened to another Bridesmaid or Best Man I was in a wedding with.  She had to end up ordering a PANEL of fabric to put in the dress.  Her dress cost became doubled.  Explain to them that you’re saving them money in the long run!

Post # 4
5497 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2019 - Paris, France

Bridal salons tend to measure big. I would order a size down if I were them but I see the scary situation you are in. It is always much easier (and less $$$) to take a dress in than let it out.. maybe you should remind them of that. 

Post # 5
4822 posts
Honey bee

Weordered the dresses online and using the measurements they were almost exact. You do need to fit the largest part of their body which is normally the bust. 

I would tell them they can order whatsize they want but they are responsible for all alterations to make it fit even if that includes adding a panel or corset to it, which would be morexpensive then taking it in.

Post # 6
19 posts
  • Wedding: May 2012

no … bottomline this is your wedding not theres.  i have the same issue right now and what did i do… ordered the correct size… even though i had a huge fight with my moh over it… tough!  i love my ladies so much that i have actually catered to them more than anyone has offered me any help..  but this is were we must put our foot down and say no.  

who is to say they will actually lose the weight?  and as mentioned above.. yes it does in fact cost more to add fabric.  the dresses usually say something like could be an inch bigger or smaller, so go with that and order them all the correct sizes.  if they are offended simply say you all are perfect right now you dont need to lose any just for the wedding, and they really dont need to.  after all everyone will be focusing on you lol.. which makes me feel a lot of bms want to try to out do the bride haha

one of my bms was in a wedding last yr… she purposely bougt a size four when she was measured to a size eight.  yes she did lose a few pounds, but in the dress the day of the wedding.. she looked terrible. is mean for me to say that becuase its hurtful, but it was so tight – instead of it making her look thinner how she invisioned it made her look chubby.  she is the main reason i put myself in charge of attending all alteration appiontments and ordering the dresses.

hopefully this makes you feel better about ordering their correct sizes, just remember anything can be taken in… but not every dress can be let out and more fabric woukd need to be ordered… good luck

Post # 7
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It would definitely be more expensive to let a dress out, but I was recently in a wedding and they ordered my “biggest size” (my hips) and the whole dress was SO ridiculously huge on me, I wish I’d gotten at least 1 size smaller. I had to get it taken in big time.

Are your bridesmaid dresses free around the hips, or fitted? If they’re free, then I would say it should be ok to order a size down. If not, then maybe suggest that they order the size they measured at.

Post # 8
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

What is the shape of your Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses?  In the past, when the salon made me order the “biggeest” size because of my hips, and the dress was A-line, it didn’t even freaking matter and I had to spend $80 getting the dress taken in.  If the shape of the dress is sheath or another more fitted silouette, they should probably stick with the bigger size.  

Post # 9
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I whole-heartedly second the NO on this one! Tell them not to pay attention to their size on the dress (I wear a 12/14 in real life, and my wedding dress was an 18, my Maid/Matron of Honor for my best friends dress was a 20). Beyond that, the gown that was ordered for my best friends wedding, ordered as a size 20, came in (already altered from the manufacturer–nobody can explain this) and actually measured a size 14 (so size 8 in street size). It was WAY TOO SMALL! And my mother in law had to completely take the dress apart and make it a corset back, and even then I had to be very careful when moving and sitting down or it would have split! The dresses came in 2 weeks before the wedding so there was no time to re-order the appropriate size. It was a NIGHTMARE!

Post # 10
3180 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I know the measurement chart for my Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses had at least a couple of the girls in dresses that were way too big on them (they were able to try them on in the store).  Is it not possible to have them try on any dresses by that designer?  Even if they can’t try on the exact size, maybe they could try on a size up or down and get a feel for how they fit?

I think the bottom line is that they are paying for the dresses and can order whatever size they want.  They are also expected to pay for the alterations though, so a reminder that it is much easier to take in than let out is completely appropriate. 

Post # 11
2813 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

A couple of my girls did this.  I warned them that it wasn’t the size they measured at, but they insisted.  I figure it’s on them, not me.  

Post # 13
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

View original reply
@Alleycat:  You are not being a bridezilla! I just re-read your post and it sounds to me like you are paying for their dresses. If that’s so, they need to order the sized that fit them now. And they need to know that they will pay for alterations. I’m sure someone knows a local seamstress that can do it for them, no one has to go to an expensive shop and get it done.  Plus, if you’re buying the dresses, the least they could do is get the alterations themselves if they do lose weight.

As a side point, you do not need the additional stress of having to worry if these girls will lose weight! This is YOUR day, not theirs! My Maid/Matron of Honor did the same thing and bought her dress two sizes too small and declared that she would lose forty lbs before my wedding…I love her but basically told her that if she didn’t fit into it or found a solution she would be cut from my wedding. It was her choice to do it! I’m sure you’re busy enough that you don’t also need to be a cheerleader for your girls losing weight!

Post # 15
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I, personally would let them order whatever size they want to, but warn them that if they dont fit, they are going to have to deal with it. The way as I see it is that they are old enough to pick what sizes to wear, and they are the ones who have to wear it.

Post # 16
3450 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

When I was in my best friend’s wedding, the bridal salon ordered me the wrong size.  It was a size or two small.  They let it out as much as they could, but in the end it was still too tight on me.  I wore Spanx underneath, but I still felt like I was busting out of the seams the entire day.  I say go with the size bigger and if the dresses are too big, then they can have them taken in.

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