(Closed) BMs with newborn baby

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: should I ask my BM if she would rather do something else (reader) or backout instead of being a BM?
    yes : (4 votes)
    31 %
    nah : (7 votes)
    54 %
    tough call : (2 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    1194 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I’m going to be in a similiar situation.  One of my bridesmaids is 5 months along and by the time my wedding comes along, the baby will be 4 months old.  With all of that, we’re wondering whether she’s going to come to my bachelorette party and how involved she’ll be come baby time.

    I say that if you’ve approached your girls about their involvement and they still want to be a bridesmaid, then drop it.  However, if I was in your position, I also wouldn’t put too much expectation on them to play a huge role in playing.  Leave it up to your other girls, and like you said, be happy with them standing up with you on your day.  When it comes down to it, that’s what’s important.

    I think as long as you are all on the same page, things should go smoothly.  Just don’t be disappointed if they can’t be as active in your shower, bachelorette party and at the reception with you  until the wedding is over.

    Post # 5
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I had a similar thing happen, out of my 3 ladies, 2 have 8 month old babies.  One hasn’t had any problems, the other we just talked about it and she asked just to attend the wedding instead.  I understand, I don’t know if I could do it if I was in her shoes.  It was a bit of a bummer, but we are going to meet up a little early and go for a walk and just relax and catch up. 

    Post # 6
    83 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Rotten situation.  I don’t expect anything really from my BM’s and I don’t think too much was ever expected of me when I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man….but they can’t return your call or email?  That would bother me even if she wasn’t a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  Maybe write a letter (the old fashioned sort) and just say- Um, are we still friends?  She will either say “O, so sorry, let’s catch up” or….  Kind of like when you were in high school and your boyfriend wanted to split up but didn’t want to tell you so he just stopped calling….  good luck. 

    Post # 7
    372 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    If you offered them an “out” before, I’d assume they will show up.  One of my BM’s will have a 1 month-old on the day of the wedding.  I knew this when I asked her – and told her at the time, I would LOVE to have her in my wedding but I also would not be hurt if she couldn’t do it.  She also has a 2 year old and a demanding job.  She’s not the one planning showers or parties, and I had to nag her a bit to remind her to order her dress but I’m super excited she’s in the wedding.  I’d stick with them and maybe offer to bring lunch over to their house on a Saturday – maybe you can hang out see the baby and catch up on wedding stuff while the kid naps?   

    Post # 8
    7 posts
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I have a bridesmaid that will have a about a two month old at the time of my wedding. Its a tough situation. Has anyone been on the other side and been a bridesmaid with a newborn? Your insight could help : )

    Post # 9
    1544 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    My sister will most likely have a newborn at my wedding since she’s getting married in 2 weeks and made it very clear that she’s not waiting to TTC and is purposely foregoing all BC on her honeymoon in hopes she will get knocked up.

    Also my sister has 2 BM’s that were pregnant during the planning and recently had their baby. No one even mentioned that as a problem. Except obviously no drinking for them. If they accept your invitation to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man then they know what that entails. They just may or may not chose to be less involved in planning and everything.

    The topic ‘BMs with newborn baby’ is closed to new replies.

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