(Closed) body dysmorphia?? how to deal.

posted 5 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
Member
1655 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

🙁 I’m in your previous boat. Same height as you, but I weigh about 160 now. Just hovering there. I’m still trying to get the full motivation to lose the weight but it’s so hard sometimes. I definitely congratulate you for losing the weight!!!

I would say to stop being so harsh. You’ve gone a long way and it may seem like the weight is getting lost less and less. I feel like you live in the mentality that you weigh what you used to weigh. I have the opposite effect. I still feel like I weigh 105-110 (like I used to five months ago; the weight gain was from stress, hypothyroid, etc.), but when I put on a sweater or a bra that I used to wear, it doesn’t fit. I hate going dress shopping or shoe shopping because I feel like my gargantuan legs will stand out. 

But I do know that it will get better. I feel like if you focus on the positives (that you lost a lot of weight), the dysmorphia may not go away, but it will be easier to handle. That being said, good luck with any future weight gain/maintenance. And I know you don’t want this but congrats on the weight loss. It’s people like you that motivate me!

Post # 4
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Make a pact with yourself to stay away from the mirror and scale for a week (or a month if you can do it.)  If you are exercising and eating right like you are, you should have no trouble maintaining your weightloss.

Have someone to take pictures of you (boudoir if you are adventurous!)  Buy a new outfit and have them take flattering pictures of yourself so you can really see the weightloss you have accomplished and be proud of it.

Post # 5
Member
1356 posts
Bumble bee

Don’t take this the wrong way, I’m just trying to help! I had the same problem at some point. It seems like you may be a bit obsessed with calories and physical activity. Honestly, it’s not hard to maintain the weight you’re at because you’re in your natural weight. You should forget about all of that. I mean, continue to eat healthy and exercise, but don’t worry about it. Let yourself have those cheese fries once in a while, just not every day. For me, whenever I’m worrying about calories and all that, I just feel shitty about myself. Simply monitor your size (monitoring your weight is a bad idea if you’re working out and building muscle), and if you notice your pants getting a bit tighter, start eating lighter. But try not to think about it on a daily basis.

Eventually, you’ll get over it. Don’t restrict yourself too much. You shouldn’t feel guilty about eating, and the solution is not to stop eating, but simply to eat normally. Enjoy your food and enjoy the nutrition it brings you. *hugs* I feel what you’re going through! Trust me, it will pass unless you feed the problem.

Post # 7
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@harperlynn:  Wear a corset to cover your tummy so you have more confidence and play up one or two of your best features.  I have big boobs so they are on display and then I wear a lot of eyeliner because it makes my eyes look more green which makes me happy.  Also, you don’t want to see all of the pictures, only about 10-15 of the best ones (also make sure you get real reviews for the photographer before booking the Groupon.)

Post # 9
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

First off congrats on the weight loss!!!! Secondly, body dysmorphia sucks. I didnt have to lose as much weight as you did (right now am 5’1 and 110-115lbs  and I know that I am not fat by any means) and most times, in clothes, I feel pretty good. The problem is when I’m standing in my undies in front of the mirror. That.is.terrible. I’ve had it since I was 13, currently 20 now. And even though in my head I know that I am toned, that my thighs do not rub (most days) that I have a flat tummy but in front of the mirror, I see the cellulite on my butt, the inner thighs, the triceps ugh I still obssesively count calories, feel guilty and not just weigh myself, but measure myself several times a day when its bad, normally once a week. And figure out your triggers! Stress kills me, I just stop eating almost altogether, not consciously I just dont get hungry, then I get happy I lost weightm then I make it conscious.

It takes a toll and is by no means healthy. I will tell you sometihng though. After you have stabilized at your weight for around 6 months, you stop being so OCD over it. It still bugs you, but most of the time you’re fine. Whenever you gain some weight (tighter pants , or go up a dress size) it starts again but once you get back down it minimizes…. I’ve kind of come to terms that it will always be there, that I have to deal with it, that odds are, unless I get ridiculously thin I wont be happy, and even then, the happiness will only last a week or two because then you find flaws again and want to lose more weight. Now I enjoy junk food, and a lot of times, stop counting calories now and enjoy the Big mac lol  Just be careful you dont develop an eating disorder because of it, my Fiance keeps an eye on me, makes sure it doesnt get bad and gives me compliments when he sees me getting stressed. It sounds bad but stay really toned and fit, it really helps when otheers give you compliments, even if you dont really believe them its comforting for a few days….. So sorry you’re going through this and it does get better!!!

Post # 11
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@beachbride1216:  +1

 

im a little late but main thing is DON’T weigh yourself, just don’t do it. Throw away your scale. 

Post # 12
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@harperlynn:  I still have body dysmorphia after losing over 100 pounds. i still have 40 more to go and then I am in the “healthy” category. I have seen therapists that really have helped with everything over the years but stopped going once I went to college. I still cant see myself like how others see me so i understand what you go through. I got a pet to help me with it, I remembered with having a lisp growing up they had me speak to cat. Animals are non judgemental and great self-esteem boosters, yah no more depression!! What helped me was throwing away my scale, I ripped all tags out of clothing so I dont know the size (if I shop I find something and have a girlfriend select the sizes for me and just ignore them as I try them on), I covered my large mirrors except for a nice oval for my face. If I go shopping I will still grab for a size 20 even though I am a 12. I also know my comfort level is being more covered up then anything so I like adding sheer long sleeve blouses to feel sexy but still covered. Don’t measure yourself by size but rather accomplishments, some people wont get. I was so excited when I noticed I could cross my legs, I wasnt out of breathe grocery shopping, I didnt need wide shoes, I could see my feet, when I discovered my neck. Use these to motivate you, not size of clothing, apperance or weight. If you need motivation PM I’m always more than happy to listen

Post # 14
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@harperlynn:  Congrats!! It a lifelong struggle with dysmorphia so the best you can do is find a supportive person or group. I did find that what was best for me was yoga. I dont mean going to a class but using a book, and doing it at home. I became more aware of my habits, it helped eliminate stress eating, and I became more mindful of my body. I have Slim Calm Sexy Yoga by Tara Stiles. Everything is labeled by toning, stress, relaxation, PMS, even pregnancy to help with the nausea. It has helped me understand that my has become smaller in the amount of space.

Post # 16
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@harperlynn:  Right now just focus on you and the baby being healthy. Stay active, eat healthy and make sure all your levels like sodium, glucose and cholesterol are all in check. I hate that people used to judge me and say I was unhealthy but all my tests and blood work were great. Focus on the inside health and the baby, you’ll have plenty of time to lose the wait once you have the baby. Think mommy and me yoga, taking walks, chasing and playing. I read a great article on Melissa McCarthy and she said she focuses on being healthy and not being skinny for herself and her daughters well-being. If thats how you live thats the best in my opinion, because skinny can be the most unhealthy people on the inside. Congrats on the baby and keep me posted

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