Post # 1
This is such a first world problem… but I can’t be alone here.
I’m 12 weeks pregnant and have already gained a hefty 5lbs. It’s not a lot but when you are 5’1” and already a solid 15lbs overweight despite working out beforehand for 7+years, it grates on you.
I had a mini-meltdown a few nights ago and asked my Darling Husband obsessively if he thought I was fat. He just gave me this weird look and said, “No. You’re not fat. You’re pregnant.” To which I responded, “Yeah but I’m not supposed to look pregnant yet!” So then he said the most enlightening thing I think he’s ever said since I’ve known him:
And I know he’s right on that. The reality is, this is not a once-size-fits-all process. And yet here I sit still fearful that I’m going to gain 40lbs that I will never get off. Why can’t I just enjoy my pregnancy?
Anyone else have major body image issues in their pregnancies or am I the only shallow mommy-to-be here?
Post # 3
I definitely spend a fair amount of time thinking about weight gain and worrying about it. You really need to remind yourself though how much you bloat when you are pregnant especially in the first trimester. I felt more flabby and bloated at 8 weeks than i do at almost 16. So yeah you might look pregnant, but you’re bloated, and there’s nothin gyou can do about that!
Even still, I look forward to the day where I feel like my belly is all hard baby, and not flabby and part baby part bloated. I worry about gaining a bunch of weight, and I really only want to gain the baby weight I’m supposed to, not extra fat. Ultimately the best we can do is continue to eat healthy, and to exercise, and hope that it all works out!!
Post # 4
I can understand. I’m always amazed I didn’t gain more early on because I felt so hungry all the time (plus eating helped my nausea).
I’m up 20 lbs at 27 weeks which is pretty average (but at the high end of the range). I don’t really mind it. The only thing I don’t like is that I can tell some of it went right to my hips and thighs (where I store fat at normally). I don’t like it there. You will definitely gain some fat anyway, though. I think 7-8 lbs of the 25-35lbs are fat stores. It’s pretty much unavoidable to gain some fat. Lucky, the closer you are to staying in the recommended range, the easier it will be to come off. All the other weight are things that you will lose after deliver (baby, fluids, extra blood, placenta, large uterus).
Most of my weight gain is all in my stomach but I can definitely tell I’ve put on a few lbs in those areas (I put it there early I think, maybe around 14 or 15 weeks I could feel it there). I was lucky enough to not get any bloating until after 12 weeks, but I didn’t like that look either! That will pass.
All you can do is try to eat healthy (eat the recommended extra calories), don’t take the “eating for two” literally and try to be as active as you can.
Post # 5
After 6 losses while trying for our much sought after first child, body image is the least of my concerns. Actually, I’m only 9 weeks, but have already been sporting a bloat bump since like 6 weeks. I show it off!! I LOVE it! lol Perverse I know, but it’s the way of thinking of a repeat loss survivor. 😉
That said, your hubby is totally right! Pregnancy and ttc and loss and infertility all have ONE thing in common – none of us experience everything the same. I’ve also found that each pregnancy for each lady is very different. I definitely DO believe that stats are just that – an idea of what the *common* happening is.
Post # 6
@the_newlymintedmrs-s17: Its definitely hard for me too! I’ve actually lost weight but gotten bigger in size! Waah?! Threw my mind for a loop.
I’m almost 13 weeks and already “showing” due to and anterior pregnancy and the fact that I’m short. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. If I’m wrong, I don’t want to hear it. It’s not a one-size-fits-all, just like you said!
And we’re not fat! We are pregnant! Even if we look like we’ve eaten too many Christmas cookies….
Post # 7
@the_newlymintedmrs-s17: I had image issues in the beginning, and I even lost weight. My tummy was so bloated. A part of me thought it was all cute, but another part would just be like omg I am a whale.
No matter how pregnant you get, when someone says you’re supposed to look like that, it doesn’t make you feel better. Of course I know I’m suppose to be big because there is a baby in there, but I still don’t like people to say I’m getting big.
However, I am embracing my body more and more these days. In the morning I have forced myself to get ready without my shirt on as weird as it sounds. Themore I’ve done that, the more I’ve found things that are quite sexy? about myself despite this big bump and the dark line that runs down it.
Post # 8
I am up 20lb at 25 weeks- above the recommended weight gain. A few weeks ago I accepted that I will be gaining above 35 lbs. I am expecting to gain 40-45- and that’s okay. Someone told me that 25-35lb is recommended because that is the amount that will come off after birth without any additional diet or exercise. And I’ve read that out of the 25-35lbs, only 8lbs of that is fat. If I gain 20lbs I know I will be able to lose it a little time and effort.
It has taken me a lot to get to this point. And I still struggle when I feel my thighs rubbing together and my underwear digging in to my lovehandles (neither of which I have ever hadto deal with before!). But at 24 weeks I finally feel like I have a little control over what I am eating, and a little more energy to do some gentle workouts (I really like prenatal yoga).
Your body will do what it needs to do. Remember this is only 9 months of your life- you will have the rest of it to diet, workout, or do whatever it takes to feel confident. For now try and feel beautiful knowing that you have a more important priority- you are creating a new life 🙂
Post # 9
I’ve struggled with body image issues and eating disorders for over half my life, so I admit I was really, really worried about how I would deal with weight gain during pregnancy. It was pretty rough the first few weeks/months before I felt I really “looked” pregnant to the rest of the world. I just felt like a chunky monkey. But in reality, it was just a lot of bloat, and that is all perfectly normal and to be expected!
Honestly, I’m sitting here at 36 weeks pregnant now with a very visible baby bump, and I’ve never felt more comfortable in my own skin…EVER. I love it…the kicks, rolls, and hiccups are so worth the bigger pants (although the heartburn…meh, I’d rather not have THAT). Even when my feet puff up to twice their normal size, just knowing that it is because I’m pregnant makes it all okay. I’m enjoying not feeling the need to suck in my gut 24/7. I’m up 21 lbs. from my pre-pregnancy weight, and heavier than I’ve ever been in my life…but once you get that noticeable munchkin rolling around in your belly, I think you’ll feel completely different about it! Pregnancy is beautiful. Hang in there!
If it makes you feel better, turn around when they weigh you at the doctor’s office. And try not to obsess over whether you’ve “on target” or not…people gain at different rates. As long as your doctor or midwife isn’t bringing it up, don’t sweat it! 🙂
Post # 10
Oh honey, I am sorry you are feeling like that, but I do have to agree with your husband, who says how anyone is supposed to look like when pregnant? Some of us show late and some of us early. You know what? it actually goes both ways, I am 5’3 and have only gained 4 pounds and just the other day my doctor told me that I was tiny. She didnt mean it in a bad way, trust me, that isnt something I want to hear when pregnant. At that moment, it made me feel like I am not eating enough or that I am not pregnant enough. I got over it. I know I am healthy and so is baby. Really, that is all that matters, so enjoy your pregnancy, my dear. I am sure you look fabulous all pretty and pregnant!
Post # 11
Feeling the same as you actually! I hadn’t gotten in shape like I had planned to before TTC and was already 5lbs over my “happy weight” . Now at 19 weeks I have put on about 15 lbs…. definitely a bit past the recommended weight gain. This doesn’t help that for new years, not even my empire waist dresses would fit me.. nothing would zip up! I sat there on my bed with dresses all around me the other day in tears. Darling Husband always makes me feel better by saying that I’m beautiful and sexy to him, but I always quip back.. “you’re supposed to say that! You’re biased”! haha. Ya I’m a bit crazy lately. Anyways I posted a similar thread a few days ago and a lot of posters wrote that your body is doing what it’s supposed to be doing and as long as you’re trying to live a healthy lifestyle, it will do what it needs to do to grow a healthy baby. 🙂 And after the fact is the time to worry about the weight.. not now.. . easier said than done, I know!
Post # 12
I just had a body image epiphany after having Dirty Delete… I posted about it on here:
And today I saw this blog post: http://weseekjoy.blogspot.com/2013/12/babies-ruin-bodies.html?m=1 which I also found very empowering and enlightening.
You are not alone in how you feel. This will also not go away suddenly when the baby is born. It will take some getting used to, some growing into, and it will take time to appreciate this miraculous thing your body is doing. But remember that it IS a miracle, and cherish your body’s amazing feat.
Post # 13
i was super skinny prepregnancy and ive put on around 33;b at 34 weeks. not just my stomach but ass, arms, butt, face…i hate it. this is after years being the same weight no matter how much i ate or didnt eat. now i put on weight if i even look at a cookie. bleugh. hopefully itll come off post baby¬
Post # 14
Thanks ladies for making me aware that I’m not alone in my completely irrationally STUPID fears. In the long run its just weight and it does come off, but it is so frustrating when the inner judgment monster gets a hold of you. It also doesn’t help when you hear from friends who claimed they never gained a pound until 6 months in and lost it all right away. I get that its genetics and some of us just win the lottery there but uuuuugh I want to win the genetic lottery damnit!
Post # 15
I really thought I would have a problem with my growing belly – I’ve never carried weight there before & I consider myself to be very conscious of my body shape. At first I was uncomfortable with my bloat & even into my 2nd trimester I was selfconscious of the fact that I didn’t LOOK pregnant, but rather just fat.
As my bump has grown rounder though, I really do find it beautiful. Most of the weight women put on during pregnancy is fluids & baby. If you gain 40lbs at your height, odds are you’ll have swelling. You need to keep reminding yourself that a lot of it is water.
Every so often I gain 2-3lbs in a couple of days & have to remember 1lb of fat is 3500 calories. I have not eaten 6000 extra calories. This is NOT fat!!
I hope as your bump grows you can embrace it. Pregnancy is so beautiful & worth it!!
Post # 16
You are definitely not alone. And from all the weight gain charts and doctors out there, you’d never know that pregnancy is not one size fits all. If you don’t fit between two lines on the weight gain per week chart, you may as well hang it up, is how I feel they sometimes act. It’s really discouraging.