Body Image/self worth [POLL]

• jayquellen
• 3 years ago

• Wedding: June 2020

I like my body. Of course, there are things I always want to be better (lose 5lb, better muscle tone (or any muscle tone…)) but if I were to look like this for the rest of my life, I’d be content.

Right now I am trying to exercise more and eat healthier in part to improve on the things my body needs improving on, but also in part because it really helps to make me feel better about myself. Feeling achy muscles and pride for taking steps towards better overall health has played a much bigger part in my self confidence than a number on a scale ever has.

• Petals2002
• 3 years ago

I voted I now dislike my body. I use to be really slim, but I got older. It’s harder to keep weight off. I’m the type that gains the extra pounds on my belly.

I’m what I call skinny fat. 🙁 

• summerlove23
• 3 years ago

• Wedding: City, State

I like my body!  I’m healthy, pain free, fully mobile, and for that I’m very thankful.  Whenever I hear from a friend who’s sick, or talk to my grandparents about their latest health scare, I stop and take a moment to be thankful for the healthy body I live in.

I also like the way I look, I’m 5’7″ with a curvy frame, so when I put on a few pounds I just look a bit more curvy.  I’m currently trying to lose 20lbs, and I’ve decided to only speak positively to myself along the path.  So instead of dreading my workouts and thinking “god I’m so fat, I can’t wait to lose this weight”, I think to myself, “this might be hard now, but I’m going to get in such good shape, I’m going to look & feel so great, I’m so thankful I can do this workout, look how strong I’m getting!” etc… (don’t get me wrong, I still have my moments where I’m frustrated that I’m not at my goal yet).

CloverBells :  100% agree that eating healthy & exercising out of love for yourself is much more productive than doing so out of hate.

• duchessgummybunns
• 3 years ago

I love my body.

My body is my vehicle to exist. If I didn’t have this body, I wouldn’t be here, at least not in my current context. When I think of it that way, I don’t think I could ever actively dislike my body for that reason alone. My body is my team mate for life. We are in this together, until the very end.

I think one of the reasons I love my body so much is that I started out with so many mood and mental disorders.

I experienced so much childhood trauma. I developed c-PTSD. I started memory suppressing at age 3, and my panic attacks started when I was 4. I modeled my behavior, from a very young age, on a bi-polar mother.

In my teen years, I became depressed and started self-harming.

And my body saved me from all that. I learned about what exercise can do for mood disorders. I got myself onto the cross country running team in high school. Then I got myself into the gym in college. I reaped all the benefits of exercising, both active and passive, and have been addicted ever since.

I feel very engaged with my physical body. I feel we are partners who are constantly building each other up and helping each other when times are tough. 

Having said all that, I will acknowledge, I definitely benefit from thin privilege. And I’m sure it helps me to love my body when it is the definition of our current beauty standard.

I mean, I’m flat chested, I have short legs, and problem skin (can’t we ALL find something wrong if we look for it?) but I don’t focus on those things.

I focus on my flat tummy, how healthy and strong I am, how good my immune system is. And I try to focus on my inner qualities and derive my self esteem and confidence from them rather than external things that will eventually fade and/or fail.

And as PP have said, I always frame changes I want to make POSITIVELY.

So I’m not trying to lose 5 lbs right now because I hate my current body – but because I think I can look and feel even better than I currently do.

Also as PP have mentioned – don’t speak to yourself any worse than you would speak to a loved one. Well, what I’ve found helps IMMENSELY with that idea is to actually envision your body as a being separate from yourself.

I’m trying to transition to a more vegetarian diet, and that is certainly not for MY benefit, but for the benefit of my body, my teammate.

I’m not depriving myself of meat – I’m choosing better options that will give my body better health and immunity.

• wolfeyes
• 3 years ago

Currently I guess I’m neutral. I recently put on 10lb due to work stress and I’m not in my comfortable weight range anymore, but when i’m 10lb lighter than this I like my body. 

I don’t compare my body to other people’s the way I did in my teens and 20s though. It varies more depending on where I’m at within my comfortable-weight-window. 

• secretlifeofbees
• 3 years ago

• Wedding: April 2017

Wow..it’s so sad that so many of us are unhappy with our bodies. I can say I am unhappy too. Women are bred and raised to be in constent competition with each other. Instead of loving what we have and appreciating the differences of everyone’s bodies, we tend to focus on all the negatives and compare ourselves to each other. It doesn’t help that we are contantly bombarded with pictures of “perfect” females everywhere! One of the reasons why I think I want to get rid of all social media is because I am just so sick of seeing those instagram/social media accounts of these women with the perfect bodies (you know that ones I am talking about..the ones with a million half clothed selfies…) I don’t even seek them, but they always show up on my “sponsered for you” or on my feed somehow.
I have always had a love/hate relationship with my body. I have that body where I am one size in the chest area and another size entirely in the hip/butt area. I HATE this…whenever I work out I need to make sure that I do lots of cardio to slim down my body but also lift like crazy to make sure my arms “even” out with my hips/legs. I didn’t vote, but I’m not happy with my body…

• lulubelle2017
• 3 years ago

• Wedding: March 2017

I don’t hate or like it. I’ve been working out and watching what I eat for the past 3 years and it shows. So, I like that part of it. However, I would really like to drop the extra weight around my belly and there are some other things about my body that I’m not a huge fan of—like the cellulite on my thighs. 

• knotyet
• 3 years ago

• Wedding: October 2017

The timing of your post is so relevant for me. My husband and I were just looking at a journal entry I had written years ago where I was depressed, uncomfortable with my body, and felt that I would be single forever. This was partly due to PCOS. Before I was diagnosed and put on a Metformin regimen my hormones were off the wall, I couldn’t lose weight no matter how much I dieted or exercised, and I had no idea why I struggled so much.

Flash forward a few years, I’ve been diagnosed, I better understand my body and why it works the way it does, I’m better able to lose and maintain my weight, and I’ve lost about 15 pounds. I still fluctuate with my weight, but I’m much more in control of it now.

I know my body isn’t perfect. I’ve struggle with ingrown hairs in places I wish I didn’t, (another lovely symptom of PCOS), and now I do have some scarring from that. I have a round face, no matter my weight, so I sometimes struggle with that. My eyes are small, and squint when I smile, and I always have bad creasing under my eyes – but as a whole, I’m okay with my flaws. I recognize that everyone has flaws, and I feel beautiful as myself.

• amanda1988
• 3 years ago

• Wedding: July 2016

My body is good.

Wish my knees were better though, I miss running.

Also not a fan of how bloated I am at the moment because of pregnancy hormones. Would’ve been nice to have a body that didn’t do that.

But mostly it’s good.

• wineosaur
• 3 years ago

• Wedding: July 2019

I like my body. There are things I would improve, but overall I’m happy with the way I look and I think those “imperfections” keep me motivated to maintain good diet and exercise habits. I feel like I look better at 30 than I ever did in my 20s, but maybe my standards are just dwindling lol.

• mkendrick
• 3 years ago

I too intensely dislike my body.  I’m 50 now (which seems impossible), 5’6″ and weigh between 118 – 123 lbs depending on the day.  I lost about 30 lbs roughly 2 years ago doing multiple rounds of the 21 day fix extreme and I eat clean for the most part and work out hard (pilates, barre, and TRX).  I had a hysterectomy about 5 years ago because of cancer scares and endometriosis so now I’m in forced menopause and terrified of gaining weight.  

Self-loathing can be indiscriminate in that it doesn’t matter what I weigh.  I’ve battled it since I was a ballerina 30 years ago.  Someone just telling me ‘stop feeling that way’ does nothing.  That is not the way it works.  I do not see myself as others apparently see me.  Like PP’s sister, all I notice when I look at pix of myself are my flaws.  But I don’t do that when viewing others.  It’s horribly frustrating, demoralizing and thoughts about what I eat, how I look, etc. consume every waking hour.  I cry myself to sleep sometimes when I feel especially bad about how I look and the fact that I cannot get past it and just love who I am.  I’ve been to counseling, meds, etc. but it is a continuous battle.  Sorry for the giant pic.  I’m sure some of you will see as me as I do.  My BFF gave me this dress.  But I don’t think I can wear it out of the house. 

• happiekrappie
• 3 years ago

secretlifeofbees :  I totally agree with the damaging effects of “those” Instagram accounts. Only, I seem to actively seek them out just to torture myself. Like some of them are obviously full of silicone, while others are unattainably fit, but I still feel like my life would be so much better if I looked like them. I’ve been trying to lay off of social media in general lately though. Comparison is the theif of happiness—and I’m so sick of doing that to myself 😊

• happiekrappie
• 3 years ago

mkendrick :  um—what the hell, actually. You look like you’re in your twenties 😳 you look extremely hot in that dress (and no I’m not just saying that to appease you) so I think you just proved an extremely important point to everyone here: we are our own worst critics!

 

i truly hope that you can get over this hurdle of self-image loathing soon. I know how suffocating it feels, and no matter what anyone else may say, if you don’t love how you look there is no compliment in the world that can change that for you. 

• Jessi2883
• 3 years ago

• Wedding: April 2016

My weird thing is that I feel like I should hate my body but I don’t. I had a baby 7 months ago and have lots of baby weight I can’t shake (esp since I started out a little overweight). I weigh 200 lbs. If you told me in high school that one day I would weigh 200 lbs, I would have honestly died. I had such issues then, and I really did hate my body then. But I really don’t hate my body now. I don’t love the way some clothes fit me, and I wish all the clothes I had in my closet actually did fit me, but I don’t feel gross or huge or any of the ways I thought I would feel. I guess seeing my body go through pregnancy, c-section, and recovery has really changed my view on it.

• mkendrick
• 3 years ago

azf0019 :  Thank you.  I truly appreciate the kind words.  I still feel like I’m in my 20s/30s inside.  And you’re exactly right.  No amount of external positive feedback seems to penetrate the negative psyche.  And it truly is absolutely suffocating to the point of crying myself to sleep sometimes and feeling unlovable.  It’s awful.