Post # 61
onlythemarginleft : My opinion (and many other women i’m sure) the problem is that our society from a young age puts too much emphasis on what a girl looks like “sitting pretty” “smiling” “looking pretty for church”, a man, etc and not enough emphasis on what she has achieved in sports, academics, or for herself in life. What about a womans brains, ethics, loyalty, strength? Don’t tell me women aren’t strong becaues that is utterly ridiculous. What about our non-binary women?
After being conditioned all through life to be a certain way, and with society in many ways still pushing back on letting women truly be free…these statistics are sad, but not surprising. Society tells us pink is for girls and girls can’t be engineers. If you’re an engineer, you’re less of a woman. If you like science, you’re less of a woman. A woman can’t be smart. A woman is made for man to procreate with . On and on and on…
I consider myself a feminist in many ways. That is just one example, obviously. I can shave or not shave my underarms and I shouldn’t get a weird stare at the gym because of it. It’s my choice. I’m not hurting anyone and I don’t smell. It’s ridiculous that men are ‘allowed’ to walk around with unshaven legs and underarms, but if a woman does it she is somehow less a woman. It’s ridiculous and it needs to change.
When I did an undercut (shaving the underside of your head), one man went so far as to tell me it was wrong and why would I do that. I was livid. How dare you tell me how to express myself? This body is for me!
My two cents.
Post # 62
avprobeauty : Bravo! I have a 21 year old daughter and I so prayed that she wouldn’t pick up my serious body image issues. But she has become her own person, chooses not to wear make-up nor shave, beat herself up about her weight and she appears truly happy with herself. She has a delightful, respectful boyfriend that adores her – all of her just the way she is.
By the way, my own body issues are very complicated. I’m a successful attorney with a very high IQ, gigantic vocab, and scare most people off because I talk like an encyclopedia without realizing I am doing so. So I should be confident in myself. But alas, the body image issues negate all of the intellectual positives because I am consumed. I agree with you as I do blame societal standards as well as the pressures of the ballet world that I think initiated created or at least fed the problem.
Post # 63
I love love love my body. It’s strong and healthy and takes excellent care of me. It’s also hella attractive, IMO. I’ve pretty much always loved my body. I’m not sure how or why that is; maybe because I was involved in athletics and gymnastics enough to feel powerful and accomplished but not so much that people were ever giving me feedback on what I needed to do to improve around diet or shape? My mother has some unhealthy body image issues and she somehow managed to avoid passing them on to me, and I’m really grateful about that.
There was a period of time when I was around 14 where a guy that I thought was cute said something about my stomach, which upset me and I started doing crunches like a fiend, but later in that same school year, I heard him say the exact same thing to a girl who was hella slender and I figured out he was into negging girls, which instantly freed me and made him way less hot (I also made sure to tell her what he’d said to me so that she didn’t take it seriously).
I’m pretty damn confident in my own right; I’m chill about being naked and whatnot. I will also say that my husband is really loving and affectionate and complimentary and he regularly tells me how beautiful he finds me (even on days when I’m not necessarily feeling it) and that is a great way to get my spirit charged up. I like the view of me that he reflects to me and I choose to believe it because that’s what feels the best.
Post # 64
mkendrick : 50?! You look hardly 30! Gurl, rock that dress.
I’d get ocassional, very temporary waves of loathing my body. On most days I’m pretty content with it. I’ll always see things I wish were better–a bit more curve here, less fat there, nicer looking skin, etc…but I’ve realized that just because I don’t have my “ideal body” doesn’t mean the body I have isn’t beautiful in its own way. The negatives that I see in myself have only come from me…no one has ever told me I’m not toned enough or my nose is too big. I have a loving husband who’s told me I’m pretty on days I’ve felt my ugliest, and while I think everyone should feel beautiful to themselves, to me it’s most important that my husband is attracted to me…so I’ve stopped obsessing over my body as much as I did before I was married.
Post # 65
This thread reminded me of this beautiful poem that I have always loved so much. It is by Maya Angelou.
I think it is a great poem about confidence that we should all have as women.
Confidence can make a world of difference on how you and others see you.
Post # 66
I love my body! I wish I was a bit stronger, but I love how I look. However that only applies at my current weight, which is very slim. I could put on like 10kg and still be a healthy weight, but then I would dislike or hate it.
Post # 67
I have 5 children. I was younger with my 1st 4. I was able to bounce back easier. Sure i had strerch marks but i didnt care. Now though, im 40. I gained even more weight after my son was born. Its as though since im nursing my body is holsing onto every ounce of potential fat. He’s 19 months. Im constantly STARVING. I had an emergency c-section so not onky am i fat i have some weird apron going on. Cellulite ..everywhere. im also just exhausted at pretty much every moment of the day.
Some days im super depressed. I mean ive had 4 children and gotten back to a size 0 (im 4’11 thats not too skinny its perfect) now im a size 10 since having him. (Which on my super short frame is much larger than i have ever been used too even 9 months pregnant).
Some days. I just say screw it..at least im super comfy for my son. I must feel like a wonderful squishy pillow..id actually probably love to cuddle me too! I have the rest of my life to lose weight.
Post # 68
I’m fine with my body. It’s my face I’m very insecure about. Especially when I’m without makeup or I have to put my hair up. I’m always hated my nose shape and the fact my one ear sticks out a bit and even though I just got invisalign off, I still have insecurities with my teeth. I’ve been told I have signs of facial dysmorphia because I spend hours a day looking at my face and analyzing what I’d change. I’m thankful to have a boyfriend who constantly tells me I’m beautiful when I complain ( which is often) but it’s not like it changes my mind
Post # 69
mkendrick : Yes but your daughter must have you to thank for a lot of her freedom and love of self! Independent strong women are often feared by men unfortunately, especially if you have brains to boot! I wish you great luck in the future. I am pursuing my dream of being a personal trainer..fitness has so many rewards for me. I keep reading to strenghten my vocabulary which I think is probably a titch above average but I’m far from an encyclopedia. I think the best thing about being a human being is we have the ability to change, strengthen, and obtain more knowledge (in all areas of life)…but it’s up to us if we look at the world positively or negatively.
Post # 70
I think one of the reasons that I’m so a-ok with my body is that I have a conventionally attractive face. I’m still pretty even though I’m overweight. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely better looking when thinner, but still pretty at a size 12. Plus, I have a good shape despite being bigger. Though, at my age I think I’m just more forgiving of myself than when I was younger. Plus, I compare myself against other women my age rather than 18-21 year olds. Definitely helps.
Post # 71
- Wedding: March 2018 - The Venue, Barkisland, UK
I voted that I love my body, because I do. Don’t get me wrong there are things I would change – pretty much just losing some more weight, actually – but my body is fast and strong and fit and capable.
I turned 30 this year and my body is in the shape of it’s life. Yeah I’ve been slimmer, but I am finally appreciating my body for what it can do rather than just what it looks like. Finding the right personal trainer has achieved that shift in my mindset because once he taught me how to really move and use my body, I became amazed with it.