- 5 years ago
I’m a semi-regular user, gone anonymous due to the sensitive nature of this post.
My brother is on his 2nd year in college- small school, middle of nowhere, frat boy. Lots of drinking. We knew he drank… a lot. Thought it was bad but nothing out of the ordinary for a college frat kid. Over the summer (and the night of my wedding) he got in trouble with my parents for his terrible behavior while drinking. He tried to drive, was combative, had terribly mean things to say and was generally a disaster. He got very angry about being confronted but life went on. Then one day my parents got a phone call that he was in the hospital for alcohol poisioning. Someone found him on campus lying in a bush in a fetal position. He was shoeless in the cold. My parents were furious and worried, of course. He promised that this was a wake-up call and that he’d get back on the ball. He had to go to a school mandated counseling session after this incident. My parents didn’t tell me about this incident until about a month after it happened- when I tried to confront my brother about it he completely broke down and crying, said if I EVER bring this up again that he’d stop talking to me period. He claimed it was in the past and he was over it after having talked to my parents/counselors ad nauseum about it.
So that should give you a good background on this- he drinks a lot and is very set in his ways, has a hard time admitting that he is wrong.
Well, last night- completely unprovoked- he calls me crying. Says he’s an alcoholic. This is SERIOUS that he would call and admit this to me. He apparently drinks daily- can’t sleep without it, has tremors, is failing a class due to lack of attendance. He had a particularly bad binge Thurs-Sunday which spurred this phone call. He was even open to leaving school entirely and not going back- he knew it wasn’t the right environment for this. I asked if he was thinking of hurting himself (no) and if he’s ever done drugs (other than pot). He told me that all through 9th and 10th grade he did Oxycontin, but stopped when he ran out of money… thank God. I talked to him for a while, said we can get him help, then he called my parents and told them everything.
Today he had an appointment to speak with the dean to hear about his academic options and to get info on seeing a counselor. He went to the counselor who sent him to a MD who sent him to the hospital. His Bridal Party was through the roof because he hasn’t been taking his meds (He has had unexplained high Bridal Party for a few years). He was experiencing tremors and they wanted him on anti-seizure meds. He’s getting admitted as we speak.
So over the past 20 hours there has been a lot of phone calls and a lot of tears. We don’t know if we’re going up to be with him tonight (its a 5 hour drive). My parents are at least going up this weekend- but we don’t know if he’ll be coming home then or trying to finish the semester out.
My poor mom blames herself- because, get this: she was a fucking drug addict in her mid twenties. WHAT. That hit me like a brick in the face. You have no idea- she is the most stereotypical “mom” I know. It is unreal. She was hooked on meth and coke for about 3 years until she met and started dating my dad- at which point he gave her an ultimatum and she quit cold turkey. For fuck’s sake, I’ve been trying to get my mom to start watching Breaking Bad for the past year- that’s how clueless I was in regards to all of this. Anyway, she’s had a 30 year struggle with depression due to the ramifications of her addiction and the conditions under which she grew up that still lingers today. And now she’s let her skeletons out of her closet to her children and is blaming herself for my brother’s addiction and I don’t know what to do.
Kudos if you’ve read this far. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I’m oddly numb. I took off from work today thinking that I didn’t want to be there taking personal phone calls- so I’ve been sitting at home cleaning all day.
Advice? Personal stories? Anything? I just needed to get this all off my chest- I’m not able to tell my friends all the gritty details. My mom even made me promise not to tell my husband about her history- though he was in the car while this conversation happened so he got the jist.