(Closed) Book a venue before being engaged…

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Would you book a venue before you are engaged?
    Yes- Save the date! : (9 votes)
    16 %
    No, I'd wait until it's official. : (46 votes)
    84 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    907 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I hear way too many stories of couples who are essentially planning their wedding without being offically engaged, choosing a date, booking vendors, and then the girls ask . . . why is he taking so long to propose?!

    I would wait.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2701 posts
    Sugar bee

    Definitely wait. Things happen and you don’t want to be out money if you don’t have to be.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I see no harm in calling but I most certainly would not book anything.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3148 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    This is where the question of what he’s saying…. “calling to see open dates” or “can you actually book something”.  And have you ring shopped?  How close are you? I think a man tends to say, “oh yeah, make a phone call to see what openings are there” and the woman goes “okay, I’ll book the date”.  Please don’t take this in a bad way, we don’t know you or your situation personally.

    I personally am not sure I would book a date with money if we weren’t engaged.  It just adds a lot more pressure. But each couple is different.

    Post # 7
    Member
    792 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @DaisyCakes: Well my OH and I aren’t formally engaged yet and we are going to look at two venues next month when we visit my parents (since we want to get married in my home town) because it is convenient to do it when we are all together.

    Different strokes for different folks, and all that – do what is right for you 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    3148 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @DaisyCakes: Some venues let you “hold” the date without any money/contract.  But if that venue fills up quickly then they probably won’t give that option.  It’s good to start looking now if you want a short engagement so you know your options and you’re not too overwhelmed, but I wouldn’t do anything in writing.  Plus, you may change your mind.  I did, like 20 times on stuff.

    Best of luck to you!

    Post # 11
    Member
    2408 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I say call and find out how quickly it books and then ask your boyfriend what he wants to do. If he’s fine with booking it now, then by all means go for it. If he’d rather wait until it’s official, then wait. This is a decision you two have to make for yourself. Everyone does things differently and what works for one might not work for you.

    I will say that the mister and I checked out a venue and asked about how quickly it books but we’re waiting to book because he feels more comfortable waiting until we’re engaged. Me? I totally would have booked it. lol. But since he asked me to wait on it, I’ll wait.

    Post # 12
    Member
    413 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I agree with PP. Wait until it’s official. Although I don’t think there is any harm in calling around. I did that this afternoon actually, lol. I took the advice of my mom and emailed a couple of places to get an idea of how quickly venue’s book up. I just wanted an idea of my options… If we got engaged tomorrow, would anything be available for when we want to get married in the summer/fall of 2012?? Or would I have to be engaged more than a year to get a venue during the season we want? No harm in calling in my opinion.

    Gwen.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2192 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I find it really silly to book a venue for a wedding that isn’t even for sure official.

    Now that’s my personal opinion but if he’s willing to book a venue but not yet willing to put a ring on your finger I’d be more concerned with why.

     

    ETA: that isn’t meant to be as harsh as it sounds.

    Post # 14
    Member
    171 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    If the two of you have explicitly agreed to book a specific date, then I see no harm in it. I’d clarify with him before doing that though, just to make sure you’re both fully understanding the other’s intentions.

    I know a lot of people prefer not to book anything before it is official official, but “we agree we’re going to get married at x location on y date” sounds official enough to me.  For some, that’s as much of a proposal as there ever will be (not saying that of your situation, but just of some people), so it’s hard to argue it’s not official enough.

    Post # 15
    Member
    46 posts
    Newbee

    i’d say definitely call and ask what their policies are and do your research…especially since technically you are planning on getting married a 1.5 years. if you had a ring on your finger, i think everyone would think it was legitimate to start looking for a venue. as long as you and your boyfriend are on the same page!

    Post # 15
    Member
    12 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Interesting, my Boyfriend or Best Friend and I will be making an appointment to book our ceremony venue this week even though we’re not engaged yet. We are planning to get married in the summer of 2013. Since we want this particular venue and we know it books up fast, we kinda have to book early.

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