Post # 1
What are your top recommendations for books for fathers-to-be? Preferably something that deals with support during pregnancy, labour and newborn care and/or the emotional process of becoming a father.
Post # 2
I can highly recommend pregnancy for men. It’s a bit tongue in cheek humour but has lots of great information in it. If even includes a month by month what not to say to your pregnant partner. Hubby loved it when we were expecting our first.
Post # 3
“The Expectsbt Father”, “Don’t just stand there”, and “the birth partners guide” are all good with more serious overtones. “What to expect while your wife’s expanding” is a parody of what to expect, but it’s funny and had good info- if you’re more of a humor reader. Congrats!
Post # 4
We were not able to find any books that appealed to us. I very much wanted my husband to read a book to engage a bit more with what was going on and was initially upset. Then I realized I didn’t like any books I saw either and it was fine. We used google for basic questions and figured stuff out as we came to it.
Post # 5
elliebee357 : someone gave my husband “Dude You’re Going to Be a Dad” and is was total garbage. Unless you like being addressed as a bro-y frat guy. He didn’t bother trying any other books after that and just relied on the Ovia app, our midwife/birthing class, and what I told him I’d read.
Post # 6
elliebee357 : I read aloud parts of the Mayo Clinic guide to pregnancy that I thought would be useful or interesting but that’s it. I knew he wouldn’t just sit and read it. We both enjoyed hearing what stage baby was at weekly, which I just pulled off baby center.
Really, unless your husband is totally thoughtless, the advice to just do what wife asks, be it to help or to let her do her thing, is about all he really needs. My husband did a great job and didn’t need a book to tell him to just be supportive. If a standard book works for you, it shouldn’t need dumbing-down for him. (He also wound up holding up one of my legs at the midwife’s request. That was a surprise for us both, lol).
Post # 7
Shit my dad says!! It’s not about babies or pregnancy support so it’s not a top priority but he should read it for sure. I laughed, I cried, I laughed until I cried. It’s a short read too.
Post # 8
i told my husband what i wanted him to know. and to this day, i read the books and tell him what i want him to do. we’re potty training my oldest. i read “oh crap potty training” took notes, and shared it with Darling Husband. then i photocopied the cheat sheet quick guide in the back, gave it to him to read. when i asked for it back after i had returned the book to the library, he told me he threw it away.
Post # 9
My husband is reading “We’re Pregnant! The First Time Dad’s Pregnancy Handbook”. So far, so good. The chapters are fairly short and cover what is happening to me during that week of pregnancy and ideas for how he can be supportive during that time.
Post # 10
Thanks bees, I really appreciate the info. I was also hoping to find something that deals with the emotional preparation/changes that come with fatherhood but most books seems to mostly deal with either just the technical pregnancy info or like one bee said, basic info on how to be supportive etc. Given the above responses about partners just choosing to convey info to the other partner I feel slightly less annoyed by the fact that everything seemed to be dumbed down for men a lot! And so few options when it comes to helping men explore the emotional side of becoming a father or preparing for fatherhood. Anyway, thanks bees!
Post # 11
elliebee357 : in that case he should definitely read shit my dad says.
Post # 12
I suppose the emotional side is so personal there isn’t much that can be written. Just like how every woman experiences pregnancy and motherhood differently so does every man.
i would suggest though taking some time to talk about what type of parent you think you are, what support will look like for you and really stress that his feelings are just as valid and that he can talk and share with you. elliebee357 :
Post # 13
There’s a book called “how to dad” but idk if it’s available outside New Zealand
Post # 14
- Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre
We are both reading What To Expect When You’re Expecting and so far we are both enjoying it.