Post # 16
mel2 : “He really wants me to cum every time or more than once…”
This seems like it could be potentially controlling if he really wants or expects it. It isn’t always easy to achieve an orgasm for a woman.
“…its a mental thing on my part. He pleases me and knows how to get me there but I have a hard time shutting my brain off.”
This is more common than you would think.
Post # 17
franklymydearidont : Thanks for your reply.
Its hard to convey things in text so I think some of my posts here are being read differently than the intentions I was trying to convey. Other people are being snarky, but whatever.
He doesnt pressure me or anything like that. We just have good communication. We have checked in periodically about how we both feel about our sex life. In that context we have both asked if the other was satisfied and what we would each do to make it more enjoyable for eachother, etc.
He loves me and wants me to be satisfied and I told him i am very satisified with things, which is true. But we are going to be together for the rest of our lives, so why not continue to learn about eachother and explore together? We are both very physical people so its an important thing for us.
I did end up reading the book last night. It was very focused on Taoist meditation practices which isnt my cup of tea, but I did find some useful things in there about how to focus my thoughts more. That helped and I came twice during sex so I guess I could say it did help… Im going to keep experimenting with the ideas suggested in the book.
Post # 18
No one ever told me while I was exploring my sexuality that more than one time in a row, or an inability to O through vaginal penetration was “difficult for most women.” These were things women told me much later in life, and they surprised me.
I’m convinced that not knowing all of these potential limitations, or judgements people make, or intimacy insecurity that could get in my head and worry me allowed me to have my best version of a sex life. As long as your partner listens, and you don’t get in your own head about performance, I think it seems reasonable.
TBH though, I can’t imagine having multiple organism sex 3 times a day, daily, for years. At a certain point, it would just naturally make it harder for me to be genuinely “turned on” because things were so predictably scheduled, and there was no down time to build authentic desire. My libido would plummet if I knew that every day at 5:30am, 12:15pm, and 10:45 pm, I’d be having sex. (For 10 minutes or something, or do you two just have really, really free schedules?)
The predictability could be getting to you.
Post # 19
notmeeither : You are totally right! Lots of these things get in our heads. I am able to cum from sex easiest from clitorial stimulation (girl on top, or with my legs far back) but occassionally I get a vaginal orgasm too thats not clitorial based. Those ones are less frequent and I still dont know exactly what we need to do to make them happen more often. Trying to pay more attention to the positions/feelings when they happen so i can figure it out.
I know the frequency sounds like a lot but its just our normal. We go to bed together and watch TV or sometimes just get straight into sex. When that round is done we cuddle and talk and then round 2 gets initiated by one of us. Most of the time I cum during round 2 so its certainly not too much for me. Id be frustrated if we stopped at one because I would cum a lot less often. If either one of us wanted to have less sex we would. Its just what we like.