Post # 1
My BFF got engaged a few months ago and I’ve been speaking to her a lot about her finding the perfect venue. she’s getting married towards the end of next year and said a lot of the places she looked at have ALREADY started to get booked!
my SO and I already have a timeline in place, and we both figured we’d get married around the same time as my BFF, so when she mentioned this she also said to me “hey, if you want that place at that time, you have to do a ‘Monica’ and get it booked NOW”.
I spoke to my SO about it and he agreed – we needed to check this place out and put down a deposit.
We went and looked and it was beautiful, perfect and so ‘us’. We’re planning on putting a deposit down in the next month or two (we’re pencilled in until then).
I just feel so strange, though. I know the date of my wedding. It’s 18 months away – and I can’t tell a soul. I just can’t tell my family until I have a ring. And my SO has made it very clear, he wants it to be done ‘properly’.
I’ve got about another 6 months to go before I get an actual proposal (which is quite good in a way because I never wanted an engagement to last over a year) but it’s going to be so hard keeping this quiet for that length of time!
Has anyone else been in this situation? Any advice? Any tips? All I have is a Pinterest board and I’m going WILD with ideas that I can’t share with anyone!
Post # 3
@treacle: I think that if it’s ok with your SO (he wants that venue and that date, too) and you NEED to book it this early to get it, I don’t see why not. The only case where that’s bad bad news to me is if you didn’t talk to your SO about it. Guys don’t always realize you gotta propose 1-2 years before you want to get married if you want the venues and vendors you want!
Post # 4
yeah he’s completely fine about it. he’s also the one who suggested we go to the church too before we put our deposit down so we 100% know we have the 2 important venues booked.
i couldn’t imagine doing it without his permission – could you imagine?! men get freaked out enough as it is without having that extra stress!
Post # 5
@treacle: Congrats on having a concrete timeline! I’m waiting without a clear timeline (but I think within the next year I’ll be engaged), so I have felt a little crazy keeping a scrapbook of wedding things – I have ideas for Save-The-Date Cards, invites, dresses, etc!!! I haven’t put anything on pinterest because I have friends and family that follow me there and they don’t need to know how I’ve been obsessing over wedding details already. Thank goodness for weddingbee!
I’m not making any decisions of course – but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to have things narrowed down a bit. My SO has said he doesn’t want a long engagement but he does want a destination wedding…which means once a ring is on my finger we would need to hit the ground running.
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings
In you case, DO IT!! Why not? Your man doesnt feel pressure and it will make you lives easier. No one except your BFF and bf need to know till you 2 are officially engaged to be married.
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2012 - Padua Hills Theater
When I saw the title of this post I imedietly thought about Monica from friends. I say book it. Maybe he says he’s six months away from proposing because he wants to suprise you? Either way start planning now! I have been telling all my girl friends, I know it sounds strange but there is nothing wrong with getting some ideas before you have a ring. Your engaged period flys by so fast! I wish I had done more research before getting engaged!
Post # 8
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that…. venues book fast, especially in the on-months for weddings! You did a smart thing.
Post # 9
I got engaged late December, and immediately afterward started looking for a venue for my April 2013 wedding. To my surprise, several of my favorite places that I’d seen online had already been booked out all the way through December 2013. That is almost two years in advance – and considering the fact that most people are only engaged for about a year, I guess that means a a lot of people must be securing venues before they’re actually engaged. Honestly, I wish I had thought of that … so I’d say go ahead!
Post # 10
Just book it if it’s still open – I totally agree with love108 in that guys tend to not realize they need to propose way in advance in order to get all the details nailed down. My SO/DF keeps apologizing for taking so long (bc the MUA’s that I wanted were already booked by the time I inquired about them).
IMO if your SO already agreed to a potential date, you guys are engaged already. You’re only waiting for the “official” proposal (and I put this in quotes because while it’s important because it’s what people will want to hear about, it doesn’t signify much in your engagement other than the exchange of a piece of jewelry). We booked our venue before I got my ring.
Post # 11
As long as your SO is on board I say plan as much as you want! I myself have been thinking about contact my dream venue to get an idea of how far in advance they fill up. I’ve still got about 1 year till the proposal, another till the wedding (or at least that’s the plan), but if it’s the kind of place that books over a year in advance then that might change a few things!
Post # 12
I’m in the exact same situation. My SO and I booked our venue 4 months ago. He is paying for the ring in cash and needed a few more months until it was paid off. So we knew our date and have told family and very close friends. I do know that he picked the ring up yesterday — paid in full — and I am expecting an “official” proposal in the next week or two. I am SOO excited to finally announce it to the world!
Do you think your family would think it is weird? Mine didn’t. My mom has been so excited to help me plan everything — we have even booked our photographer and DJ. You can be engaged without having the ring. I know it isn’t the traditional idea, but don’t let this stop you from sharing the wonderful news with people you love. I would just hold off on making an official announcement until he does propose and you have the ring.
Post # 13
You guys, for all intents and purposes, are already engaged. Engaged doesn’t = ring. I guess I find it strange to already have a plan, a date and a venue, that he knows about and agrees with, but he is waiting to give you the ring. Anyways that aside I’d go ahead and book since things are set in stone already.
Post # 14
@oneheartoneway: i don’t want to tell my mum just yet. i don’t even want to tell her over the phone when he does ‘officially’ propose. i want her to see the ring and let her have that moment of happy feeling when it’s all right there in front of her. i’m her eldest daughter and i’m the ‘odd one’ of the family for many reasons and i just want her to have this as the one ‘traditional’ thing i do for her!
plus my SO wants to ask my dad’s permission, and we think that’s probably best to be done close to the time when i tell my mum!
once that’s happened, we’ll tell them about the venue. they won’t be shocked we’ve done it this way (this is similar to when i finally told them i was moving 300 miles away and they already suspected i was going to) and will completely understand.
we went to the church last week and will be going again tomorrow. hopefully we can speak to the vicar and book it for our date!
@CallmeC the only reason why we don’t consider ourselves ‘properly engaged’ yet is because he technically hasn’t ‘asked’. he’s never said ‘will you marry me?’, we’ve just spoken about it a great deal and decided that this was the best course of action if we were to get what we wanted, when we wanted.
i just don’t ever want to look back on our ‘engagement story’ and think ‘yep, we got engaged one night in bed when i had had slightly too much wine and had been talking to my girlfriend for over 3 hours’. and i brought it up. i don’t know, i feel a bit weird about it.
a ring and ‘will you marry me’ is what i want to remember.
Post # 15
@treacle: That makes sense to me. I’d just wait and tell everyone till after he does propose to you by actually asking. In the meantime, book the venue if you both are on board to do that. At least it’ll be one less thing for you to worry about when you get into full blown wedding planning.