(Closed) Booking Venue Before Engaged

posted 6 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: Is it okay to book a venue after the ring is purchased, but waiting for official proposal?


    No, wait until the ring is on the finger!

    Either is fine!

  • Post # 2
    8602 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I mean if he’s into it why not. But if you are expecting parents to pay that’s definitely the cart before the horse because you’ll obviously need to announce your engagement before you move forward. Would you two be okay with announcing your engagement to them without the ring ready? 

    Post # 3
    1157 posts
    Bumble bee

    To me, booking the venue is complete commitment to marry; I would find any proposal after that to be completely pointless and a bit hollow… like, it won’t be a surprise for anyone – it’s not even a question anymore because you’re already both committed! 

    That’s just my opinion though, you’re welcome to disagree. 

    Post # 4
    3791 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Well…based on the “Waiting” board a lot can happen between now and the actual proposal.  I also find it strange that you have a date picked out without getting engaged first.  In my opinion, don’t put the cart before the horse.

    Post # 5
    7440 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I don’t see an issue with booking the venue before a proposal. We booked in October and he proposed in November. We wed October of the next you. From your post it sounds like you olan for him to propose the same month you are getting married? If it works for you why not? It just sounds like rushing things but whatever works best for your life

    Post # 6
    423 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I say if he agrees to book it and your the ones paying for it then book away. As pp stated if parents will be paying that may be an issue. I do understand your concern with getting things booked. We got engaged on NYE and getting married September 15th so it’s not much time. We haven’t actually announced our engagement formally because my ring is being made but we have already put deposites on the venue and photographer to be sure we get what we want. But we are eloping/solo destination wedding it so we are paying for everything ourselves. 

    Post # 7
    246 posts
    Helper bee

    Do your parents know about the ring and impending proposal and are on board? We looked at venues during the time my ring was being made but all parents knew about it and my mom actually found our venue in a magazine and told us to check it out because they only do a few weddings a year. We didn’t book and sign any contracts before the official proposal, but we did tell the venue a date we had in mind and they said they would tentatively hold it for us and let us know if anyone else inquired about it so we could book first. I don’t see anything wrong with doing this if you have a specific venue and date in mind. At this point the ring on the finger is really just a technicality.

    My ring took 3 months to make so I wasn’t sure of when the proposal was coming because he didn’t tell me when it was done. It’s possible to still have a bit of a surprise proposal despite knowing the ring is on the way.

    Post # 8
    1992 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    stoney7041597:  If you’re booking a wedding venue I’m not sure how you don’t qualify as “engaged to be married.” A proposal is exactly that, proposing a plan or suggestion–if you’re already going ahead with the plan what’s the point of ‘overthinking’ the question of whether or not to do it? The fine jewelry is not mandatory, it’s just a silly ad campaign that the shady mofo’s at De Beers invented less than a century ago. 

    I would book the venue ASAP with my own money. Before that you should map out your expectations and the kind of wedding you want, and what that will likely cost. Don’t book a venue that will need everything from cutlery to chairs to basic decor and assume you can just hand your parents the bill. Consider logistics–is this a business that does weddings and events often? Do they ‘know the drill’ or will you need a lot of extra coordinating? Do you like their list of approved caterers or the food they will otherwise serve? Do they have the kind of alcohol–or lack of alcohol–that you want? Is there parking for guests or will you have to organize a shuttle? There’s a ton of stuff to think about, especially when you’re depending on someone else to pay for it. 

    Post # 9
    9443 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    Get engaged, THEN pick a date. You are putting the cart before the horse hon. 

    Post # 10
    3647 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    I don’t see a problem with booking a venue before an “official” proposal because how someone determines whether or not they are engaged varies from couple to couple. For some it’s presenting the ring, bended knee, and all that stuff. For others it’s just agreeing they want to get married and that’s it. So if you two have agreed you want to get married and have picked a date then no, nothing wrong with booking a venue now.

    However if you are anticipating other people chipping in for the cost of the wedding, then I wouldn’t book anything you couldn’t cover on your own until you discussed it with those people.

    Post # 12
    1402 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    We booked the venue before my ring was in and before the formal proposal. We’re paying ourselves though, so we didn’t have to tell anybody until after I had a ring.

    Post # 13
    1270 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I say book it! We were aiming for October last year, hence the Autumn in my user name, but unfortunately one thing led to another and we didn’t get engaged before March, by which point there weren’t any October Saturdays left. At the time I wished I had pencilled it in prior to the engagement – similar situation to you in that I knew he had the ring, but I’m ok now because I get married in <70 days now – yay!

    Post # 14
    79 posts
    Worker bee

    View original reply
    truthah:  100% agree.

    I never understand how one can have the date, venue, and ring picked out and not be engaged because no big fancy proposal happen.  The ship has sail already, you’re engaged. 

    Post # 15
    1616 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I booked my venue before we were engaged for the same reasons. My then boyfriend was fine with it as we wanted an October wedding too.

    The topic ‘Booking Venue Before Engaged’ is closed to new replies.

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