(Closed) Booted to the Couch

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll:
    Immature and Ineffective : (117 votes)
    86 %
    Sensible and Effective : (8 votes)
    6 %
    Other : (11 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3624 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    A couple things, I can’t sleep if I’m mad, so kicking him off to the couch would not accomplish anything. He’s stubborn and would probably say something along the lines of “If you’re THAT mad, YOU go sleep on the couch” and then I would just pout. I also try to solve my issues instead of dismissing them with childish behavior.

    Post # 4
    Member
    7770 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Every fight and every couple is different.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2714 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I have never, ever done this. I have trouble sleeping when I’m angry so I’m actually the one that banishes myself to the couch so I can watch TV and try to calm down!

    I honestly think it’s totally disrepectful to your SO to “banish” them to the couch for a night just because you’re pissy about something.

    Post # 6
    Member
    426 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I would never “boot” him to the couch, but when I get angry my whole BODY gets angry, and I can’t imagine sleeping next to him. In fact, I won’t sleep next to him. I’ll sit and stew and get even more pissed. So for his safety (so I don’t whack him with a pillow!) and my sanity, if I’m really angry I’ll sleep on the couch. I find the physical distance gives me a chance to let the anger go and deal with the morning better. Most times when this happens I end up joining him in bed by about 6am anyway.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1315 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Haha every bloody night I have to wake Fiance to come to bed! It’d have to be a fierce big row for me to not allow him into the bed, though!

    Post # 8
    Member
    3176 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    We don’t normally sleep together, we have our own beds. I wonder what FH would do if I told him he couldn’t sleep in his bed b/c I was mad at him? lol.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3871 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Yeah, I’ll admit that if I’m really mad at him, I’ll sleep on the couch.  I need the time apart from him to calm down and to sleep on it to see if I’m still mad at him in the morning.  It’s not for everyone but it works for us.  Plus, if I’m still angry being in the same bed as him will probably make things worse.  I might say something because I can be stubborn and b*tchy.  Yeah, so it works for me.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3624 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @MrsPinkPeony: that would be hilarious. I think you should try it and video tape his response. Time to experiment!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1480 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    We’re both adults, I’m not going to punish him like sending a misbehaving child to the naughty corner. I’m also pretty sure doing that would just add fuel to the fire and wouldn’t solve anything.

    If I need space, I can accomplish that by taking myself to the couch. I did that once when I was really mad. When he was ready to make up, he came out of the bedroom and got in bed with me on the couch.

    @lola2011: Exactly, what you said.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2866 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Never would happen. I can’t sleep if there’s a disagreement.

    I’ll keep him up and talk it out before I let him sleep. What does sleeping on the couch do? It doesn’t resolve anything and then you have it hanging over you the whole next day.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3624 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @camrie: that’s exactly what I do. He doesn’t like it in the moment, but after, he’s always thankful that we dished it out right then and there instead of letting it build up to explode.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2288 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    No. I can see how some folks would do it but…no. I think it’s degrading to the dude unless the woman banishes herself. Even then I think there are definitely more effective and less passive-agressive ways to get a point across.

    Sleeping in the same bed actually helps us solve our disagreements. First, we’ll talk it out. Then, even if we’re still irritated after the big talk-out he’ll ask me “is it okay if I hold you?” I don’t want to say “no” and by then I realize that it was a dumb argument anyway, so I nod and we lay there for a bit. Then we talk some more the next morning.

     

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