(Closed) boring receptions… leave early?

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 47
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

The only wedding I ever left early was someone at work who invited about 10 of us coworkers (in multiple departments) and NOT our significant others. All of us are either married or engaged… so it was just a little bit strange to not be going with our partners. I was one of two people under the age of 65 at my table and didn’t know anyone besides our table. The only people dancing were very small children as well so that wasn’t an option. Our table was also in the far corner under the air vent and it was freezing. We mentioned it to the staff but they didn’t do anything about it saying it was central air for the entire hotel and they had no control over it. If your only options are being the only adult among 200 strangers dancing with a ton of children or sitting and absolutely freezing (our coats were in another section of hte hotel too so we were literally freezing)…you’re not going to stay. I felt a little bit bad about it but I think when you invite people without their dates, they’re not going to stay late– especially when they don’t really know anyone else.

Post # 48
Member
1219 posts
Bumble bee

I haven’t been to a wedding in years but my daughter has been to many.  She always stays to the end to make sure the couples pictures don’t look like no one was there.  She always stands up for the bouquet toss even though she doesn’t want to catch it.  And she always dances, no matter what music.  Her wedding is in 17 days!!  And I hope all her friends do the same for her.  We’ll see.

Post # 49
Member
11821 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

It’s considered quite rude to leave before the cake is cut.  I would not do it unless it was absolutely unavoidable for some reason.  

Post # 50
Member
3609 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@Anna10-05-2014:  if it’s Saturday night and there is no alcohol, I’m gone. Actually, I probably won’t come in the first place. Wedding receptions just aren’t that interesting.

Post # 51
Member
783 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@Anna10-05-2014: 

Cash bar – Honestly if no one tells me I need to bring cash to to buy alcohol, I won’t make a point of bringing any. This is annoying.

Only wine and beer bar, with no other options – I don’t drink beer, and I’m very very picky with wine. Even then, I usually only drink a glass or 2 with dinner, I prefer hard liquor without food.

Wine and Beer only cash bar– terrible terrible terrible. Especially when there is no ATM on site. Yes, this happened.

A cold outdoor reception – Honestly, I think hosts are responsible for either 1. Providing enough heaters to actually heat the outdoor venue, 2. Provide blankets or at least tell your Out of Town guests, hey, bring a sweater, it gets freezing at night.

A cold outdoor reception with cold/crappy food – that speaks for itself.

Or if the bride and groom invite you, and don’t allow you to bring a guest and you don’t know anyone there… I’d leave pretty quick.

Post # 53
Member
783 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@Anna10-05-2014:  at the particular wedding we were at,  it was held about 30 minutes away from the closest hotel, so just outside of town. The couple thought it’d be a good idea to organize shuttles at night. We took the shuttle to the wedding, assuming that for a wedding to cost $40,000, it would have to include an open bar… So now we had no vehicle. We didn’t find out it was a cash bar until they were serving supper. There wasn’t an atm for at least a 20 min drive,  and even then it was only beer, wine and champagne for sale. The first shuttle home didn’t come till 11pm, and they didn’t have enough heaters so we were frozen and hungry. 

In this case, if I were told it’s a beer and wine cash only bar, I wouldn’t have drank anyways. They were even asking for donations for pop and juice.. So we didn’t drink anything but water. But my fiance drinks beer and would have like to have a drink or 2 at the very least (he’s very shy and needs it to open up). 

This is on top of the fact it cost us $2000 to attend their wedding for the weekend and took time off work. 

Post # 54
Member
6526 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Anna10-05-2014:  I wouldn’t leave early. No matter how bad the wedding is, I wouldn’t leave because I find that really disrespectful. The last wedding I went to had horrible food, horrible music, but I stayed because its the right thing to do. They put a lot of effort into planning this day and its not their fault the venue doesn’t have good food, maybe thats all they could afford. Its not their fault the DJ sucked, maybe the Dj didn’t show his true work!

 I had a few people leave my wedding early, but two of the women were VERY pregnant, so I understood, and the other girl left because she was having an anxiety attack and apologized profusely.

 

I am there to support the bride and groom not just show up, eat and drink and then peace out…I really that is such poor etiquette

 

Post # 57
Member
2890 posts
Sugar bee

@Anna10-05-2014: 

– If I don’t know anybody and it’s a big wedding (so the bride and groom don’t really have time to stay with me and chat), I’ll leave early.

– If there is dancing and the music is very loud. I don’t dance, and I couldn’t have a conversation with anyone since the music is so loud. 

– Temperature. Depending on how long we have to travel, we might head home earlier if snow shows up.

– If it’s a weekday event or Sunday night event : we work the day after. 

All other situations are okay if I get people to talk to. I don’t need a lot of activities planned to enjoy myself at a wedding or any family event. As long as I can have a conversation with someone and hopefully a glass of wine, I’m happy. 

ETA : By ”leaving early”, I picture 10 pm instead of 1 or 2 am. I don’t know if that’s what people mean by early though. 

Post # 58
Member
783 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@Anna10-05-2014:  I guess so. Depending on whether or not I can even afford to drink after paying all the expenses to attend the wedding,  or buying a gift. If I’m paying for alcohol, as I would at a restaurant, I’d probably have one or two drinks. If its provided by the bride and groom,  I see it as a thank you for attending the wedding and there’s a good chance I’d stay till the very end of the night, dancing and such. 

In general, I consider cash bars to be Tacky… But it’s not a reason to leave early. If I’m in the situation where I can afford alcohol I’ll pay for it, if not I won’t drink. But as the bride and groom,  you are putting people in the situation where they need to decide if they can afford to drink all night at your wedding,  or pass and go home. (not you directly). 

Post # 59
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

At my cousin’s wedding, When the terrible DJ bastardized Wully Bully (which every family wedding is REQUIRED to play for my Grandma) with mixed in techno music, we booked right after. Laughing I think that was the only wedding we ever left early. 

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