(Closed) Born in the USA… And what happens next

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 46
Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Mrs Canuck:  I resent the implication that parents at home for a year are lazy.  Most of my friends with kids got hardly any sleep and didn’t stop for most of their maternity leave.

Post # 47
Member
2656 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Mrs Canuck:  It’s just a completely different way of doing things. I’ve worked for 15 years in one way or another and I pay taxes so that maternity leave is possible. So for me the government is not bankrolling it. Obviously it wouldn’t be possible without paying taxes to fund this and other things. Plus, I really don’t think looking after a child is lazy. 

Post # 48
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We are not TTC, and I will likely have a different job when we start, but my current job offers short-term disability for 4 weeks of maternity leave (which is half-pay, I think) and we have to use all of our PTO days first. So basically, we have to use all of our potential sick day for the year (of which we get 19) and then we can use disability to cover the rest, up to 4 weeks. I think it’s 100% rediculous and would likely leave my job after using my “maternity” leave if I were to keep that job.

My husband, on the other hand, works for a french bank and get 10 weeks of full-pay PATERNITY leave. We joke that he will have to learn to breastfeed because I’ll have to go back to work.

 

In all seriousness, I don’t plan on taking less than 8 weeks off of work after having a baby, if I even go back at all.  I’m lucky that we have a decent savings (and are building more) so hopefully I can be a Stay-At-Home Mom whenever we decide to try, especially since both of our families live reasonably far away and will not be able to assist us in childcare for any meaningful length of time. I do think it’s so sad that here in the US the popular sentiment is that women are workers first and mothers second- I’ve seen women work literally until the day they give birth because they don’t get proper maternity leave.

 

And for anyone who’s complaining about the government “funding” a woman’s laziness, you may want to take a long, hard look at your next paycheck and that 6.2% Social Security tax you’re paying… i’d be more outraged about that ponze scheme than paying for an honest MEDICAL leave for women.

Post # 49
Member
2656 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

bkrocks13:  I agree that it’s sad that women are seen first as workers. As far as I’m concerned, as soon as I have a child that will be way more important than any job and I’m pretty sure much harder (and i manage large groups of kids on a daily basis).

Post # 50
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee

awakemysoul:  

awakemysoul:  

Perhaps you haven’t been much out and in the rest of the countries. You’d soon realize that although they know what you mean, for everyone else, America is a continent.

Post # 51
Member
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Sporty-Bee:  North America is a continent, as is South America, Or the Americas can refer to both.

It’s amazing how language adapts to general understanding.  People hear America, and know the person is referring to the USA. It’s how language changes.  For example “I’ll Google it” is used more often than “I’ll look for it on the Internet”.

I don’t know many people who refer to North America as only “America”.

 

Post # 52
Member
11746 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Kemma:  who said my baby would be in the care of a stranger?! i am not returning to work until 15 weeks postpartum but if I were to return earlier, my daughter would be with my husband. I think he is more than equipped to adequately care for her and don’t believe she would suffer at all if she had to stay with him during the day or her grandmother either who would be another caretaker I would feel comfortable with leaving her.

the attitude that you are a bad mom or doing your child a disservice if you leave your child with a stranger (sorry but any daycare provider i use will not be a stranger since I will have met them and fully vetted them beforehand) is just really obnoxious. Children who go to daycare are no worse off then those who don’t. women who have to or even want to work and not stay home with their child should not be made to feel bad about making the decision that is best for them and their family. 

Post # 53
Member
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

MrsWBS:  My apologies for offending you, it wasn’t my intention to do so and for that I’m sorry. My question was genuine and more to do with my own post partum experience as I was in no condition (mentally, physicalling and emotionally) to return to work for months so desiring a return to work after only a few weeks is completely outside of my sphere of reference.

I also think that it’s really awesome that you have family willing and able to step up to provide childcare so that you are able to return to work when you choose. Unfortunately not every family is able to rely on family for childcare, nor do they have access to high quality childcare (I believe a study conducted in New Zealand has shown that childcare is not detrimental to child, providing it is of a high standard).

Post # 54
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

The Maternity/Paternity leave policy in Canada is that while you are working a job, you pay into EI (Employment Insurance), if you are making $20/hr then you would receive 55% of your salary, or $11/hr to stay home and take care of your child for the first year, it is 1 year cumulative per child and may be taken in part by the mother and father or wholly by one person. If there are issues that require you to go off work prepartum the time you take off eats into your 52 weeks. I am almost certain that it is law here that an employer must offer you back the same job with the same pay when you are ready to return

Post # 55
Member
11746 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Kemma:  didnt mean for my response to come out As abrasive and defensive as it sounds now that I re-read it. I don’t offend easily! It is a topic I feel very strongly about though and while I am sure you don’t mean any harm I do feel like calling other care providers “strangers” perpetuates the attitude so many people have about working moms.

Ultimately, I think the postpartum experience will differ for every individual And I genuinely believe that the vast majority of moms are doing what’s best for their baby, family and themself as an individual. It’s important for a mom to also think of what’s best for her and not just her baby, since a happy mom will be a better mom.

Post # 56
Member
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

ChantelleC90:  They are required to give you the same position, or a comparable one, at the same salary. It is 55% of your salary to a maximum, the 2013 maximum was $47,800.

Post # 57
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee

I thought this artical was really well done. Thankfully I live amongst a culture where friends do help out for the first week or two with meals and cleaning when there is a new baby in the home, however employers are not always as understanding.

I work as an EMT which is somewhat seasonal in my small rural town (Full time summer/fall and part time winter/spring) My employer does not offer anything other than 3 months unpaid leave with your guarenteed position back when you return. Emergancy medicine is an incredibly physical job and I am worried that I won’t be able to do it when I am 6-9 months pregnant much less be able to do it imediately after giving birth. Thankfully Mr J. and I are able to save a bit of money now so we can afford for me to take two months off but I know a lot of my co-workers would never be able to have that same luxary. 

I can not imagine carying a patient on a backboard over the sand and gravel sea wall while 9 months pregnant, I honestly have no idea how I am going to beable to keep working but I can’t take 3 whole months without any pay either. 

Post # 60
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2000

gingerkitten:  

Here’s the full spiel for here in Ireland. http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/employment/employment_rights_and_conditions/leave_and_holidays/maternity_leave.html Interestingly, if you have a still birth or miscarriage after 24 weeks, you are still entitled to the full 42 weeks’ leave (26 are paid). Ireland also has statutory vacation for minimum wage jobs (which IS a living wage and includes health care), based on total hours, so whether you’re part time or not. 

It’s it a flawless system? Nope. But I’ve lived for years in several countries, all of which insure the health care and basic stardard of well-being for ALL their cizitens. The only one where I felt the basic right to achieve life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness undervalued was sadly in the country of my birth, the States. It makes me so sad.

 

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