- 3 years ago
- Wedding: Dorset, UK
The company is just me and my two bosses. When I say I’m basically HR, I’m not really HR, I’m just everything since I’m technically the only employee since they both own the company. It makes me nervous to cause issues since there’s no one really to back me up, I’m kind of on my own. It also doesn’t make sense that he says that all the time because if I do want to get pregnant, knowing he doesn’t want that, I would probably look for another job and he’d have to replace me which is what he’s seemingly trying to avoid.
As an HR employee you should know that these comments are borderline illegal. He’s basically creating a hostile work environment for you with theses underhanded remarks. Ive seen so many cases where women, especially engaged and married women, are discriminated against in the work place because the possibility of pregnancy. This is not okay and I strongly reccommend you keep a detailed log of these comments in case you do end up deciding to get pregnant (or have a surprise pregnancy) and he tries to let you go; Im sure you know that sometimes employers will find small reasons to fire you when the real reason is not valid. Best of luck.
I’m getting out now, but I’m also in a small business led by a CEO who would make these comments. “Ugh, now that you’re engaged you’ll be too distracted to work well.” “You shouldn’t be getting married.” “Well, if you must get married, at least wait on having kids.” Basically I’m only valuable to him as a single woman (which makes sense, considering other things he’s done to me – but that’s another story).
Some small businesses are fine, but in my experience and from stories I’ve heard, they tend to be very insular and breed cultural toxicity when led by the wrong people. Your bosses sound like the wrong people. Small businesses under 50 employees also don’t have to abide by the FMLA, so if you do become pregnant while working there, you won’t have the protections and leave you’d have with a larger company.
I’m not close to TTC, but I made sure that the next company I landed at would be a better cultural and legal fit for when I am. It can take months or even years to find the right job. If I were you, I’d start looking. Good luck!
What a dick. Not only are the comments “annoying and intrusive” as you say, but they are illegal in a wealth of jurisdictions. I have begun handling similar situations by adopting the same “joking” cadence and stating a fact that would be equally concerning if not a joke — that’s what your boss is doing. I’d do it back.
“I hope you’re not pregnant! That wouldn’t be exciting…”
“I know, right?! Then I’d have to a find a lawyer to handle my discrimination suit!”
Ha. Ha. Ha…