(Closed) BOSS RANT! How do you guys deal with difficult bosses?

posted 4 years ago in Career
Post # 2
719 posts
Busy bee

My profession is a sea of nasty, arrogant people.

My advice is choose to not take it personally.  Can you buy me a different calculator?  Ok.  Can you purchase a conference system and order less coffee?  Ok.  Can you move the boards closer together and down?  Sure, I can do that.  You can choose to take it personally and feel bad for not doing it to his satisfaction the first time or you can just redo things as he changes his mind and makes new requests and not take it personally.  It’s a choice to not take it personally.

Post # 5
1651 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Sounds like your boss is really particular (may be driven by other things) I would NOT take it personally. However, now that you know he’s very particular, you can cut down on your own stress by anticipating it.

Before making an order, send it to him and make sure he approves it via email. Then if he changes his mind after, you can tell him the charges and the impact on costs, and show him what he originally agreed to.

Feel free to also ask him – in a very non aggressive way – why he likes things a certain way. It will help you hear how his mind thinks. Explain that you simply would like to reduce the number of changes and make sure he is happy (again you can’t change your boss), and you would like to know his preferences better. 

At least he thanks you!

Post # 6
2445 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I totally feel you on this one. 100%. Like PPs have mentioned, over time I’ve learned to not take it personally and have adjusted much more to his style to eliminate issues in the future. It really sucked in the beginning, and that feeling of ME doing something wrong was hard to ignore. 3 years later, he likes to tell everyone that I can read his mind.

Just try to take yourself and your feelings out of the situation, because I guarantee you he would be this way with anyone.

Post # 7
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013


leisha606:  My sister in law taught me a good way of how she has dealt with our mother in law for years. You can let her ruin everything or you can allow her to only take a specified amount of energy/happiness/whatever away from you. It helps me deal with likely the most annoying and frustrating person in my life in a way that doesnt drive me batty. It can be hard at times but it helps me get through the rough days a little bit easier. I use it on a particularily nasty co-worker now as well.

Post # 8
410 posts
Helper bee

My boss’s issues are nowhere close to yours, but she is very difficult to work for. It almost seems like the opposite problem. She can never make up her mind, and so I have to make a decision for her. When she likes the outcome, she takes all the credit. When she doesn’t like the outcome, I get blamed.

This is an extremely small office and I now understand how they cannot seem to keep a junior employee. I’m not planning on staying there long-term because it is hard for me to see how someone as fickle and disorganized as she is will help me grow in the company. I keep a log of my major projects and accomplishments and keep up the networking so if I need to make a quick exit, I can. It’s really unfortunate how one person in an authority position can have such a negative impact!

Post # 10
375 posts
Helper bee

leisha606:  I have a very difficult boss as well.. over the years, I’ve gotten to know him very well & understand what he likes & what he doesn’t like… Eventually you’ll get use to him.. & now I do things that I know my boss would like instead of doing something that I might think it’s a good idea but knowing my boss may not like it.. I go and make moves just by what I think my boss may like a lot better. It worked out great for me & my boss & now I’m really close with him. 

Post # 11
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I am a prime example… of how NOT to manage a difficult boss/difficult relationship with your boss haha. I went into it to strongly, and ended up being put on a performance plan… whoops!


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