Post # 1
I started a new job about two months ago and have already made the decision to leave, thankfully having the opportunity to return to my last job. I’m leaving mostly due to the fact that I simply don’t enjoy the work that I’m doing, among a few other reasons.
Today has solidified my decision. I work at a fairly large law firm and the grown ass male attorney I work for LITERALLY throws tantrums in his office. Like full on cussing, throwing things, general crazy behavior. My coworkers told me “oh, he does this sometimes. It’ll never be directed at you. He just takes out some aggression.” This isn’t the first time he’s done this. In the two months I’ve been here, I’ve witnessed ~5 tantrums.
My coworkers blow it off but I just can’t. I grew up in a very abusive household that I’m still coping with as an adult and each time he throws these tantrums, I sit in my little cubicle holding back tears and trying to calm myself so I don’t have an anxiety attack.
Do I just need to grow thicker skin? Is this common in a lot of work environments and I just need to deal with it? I’ve had 5 different jobs in my life and have never had to deal with this.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
I know some people don’t handle stress that well and get upset, but this isn’t professional behavior AT ALL.
Yes, people get upset and at least he’s not taking it out on his employees or other co-workers (and not just physically, but by being nasty or yelling or mean-spirited), but an adult needs to learn how to handle their stress and anger and frustration properly!!
If he wanted to do that at home and his wife/kids were ok with him just needing some time in his room to throw stuff, thats one thing… but he cannot and should not be doing this AT WORK. He needs to find other ways to cope! So unprofessional!!!!!!
Post # 5
Having just finished a course involving training in emotional intelligence (it was part of a step up to management course at my work) I can tell you that your boss is (a) a doche bag, and (b) lacks both emotional self management and emotional self control. that kind of workplace is toxic and you are right to leave.
Post # 6
@MrsTillerResq: As someone who grew up in an engry, emotionally abusive household I am still severly disabled by intense conflict (especially anger) and have very bad panic attacks. The main thing my therapist has been telling me is that I need to do what is right for me and respect myself enough to make the changes necessary to do that.
I think making the decision to leave is the right one. Good job!
Post # 7
Haha… you may be working for my old boss. I actually told him his behavior was inappropriate and that I wouldn’t be spoken to in that manner. Hahaha… I was so over that place and working for him. He actually started treating me better – which was totally unexpected.
The law firm went through several rounds of layoffs and I was finally let go. He’s still there – still abusing others, I’m sure.
Post # 8
@MrsTillerResq: H’s boss can get like this and he couldn’t stand it for the same reasons you couldn’t. He grew up in a very dysfunctional home and was severely bullied in school…he came very close to quitting too. The boss has yelled at others too but I think H has gotten it the worst because he’s the youngest. It has gotten better though from what I heard and he is trying to stick it out.
Post # 9
Thanks, Bees. This makes me feel so much better knowing that this is not normal behavior. I feared maybe it was something that is common in the workplace and I would just have to learn to deal with it. Glad that’s not the case!
Post # 10
@MrsTillerResq: that can drive you nuts. I once worked for a doctor like that… and yes I quit because I could no longer handle his tantrums. He used to curse out his wife, who was the office manager, right out loud in front of the patients in the waiting room. No thought about what an ass he was making of himself, or how it would affect his business. And when he started projecting it onto me? Forget about it. Don’t treat me as your verbal punching bag because your accountant screwed up your taxes. I gave him back those keys so fast he didn’t know what to say.