Boss's SO tried to take me to his place…

posted 1 year ago in Weddingbee
Post # 31
Member
10584 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

zl27 :  

How so?  Examples?  If that’s true, it’s a very serious situation that has to be addressed.

Post # 32
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

I would tell the woman who is dating the loser and drop it. The guy was drunk. Ive been hit on plenty of times from coworkers and would never have let a drunk one who flirted with me drive me home. ( not blaming you for his actions but he is a pig, and that is what pigs do and frankly his behavior has probably been successful with other women before) 

tell the woman what happened and let it go. She will need to decide to dump him on her own. 

And stay away socially from the pig! You should be able to expect this not to affect you at work, and if it does there is a problem, but in the meantime do your job. Report what happened and dont get in a car with the pig anymore!

 

Post # 33
Member
1761 posts
Buzzing bee

This guy sounds gross, even if both of you were single. I’m just confused about the part where you were his designated driver, but then he ended up driving you home because you got too drunk.

Post # 34
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I think you should document what happened in case this happens again, with you or with someone else, so you can contribute to a case against him. Keep the record of it somewhere safe. And I would discreetly warn the other women in your office not to be alone with this guy, if you are afraid for your job if you were to tell your boss what her SO did.

Post # 35
Member
3197 posts
Sugar bee

sassy411 :  how so? Employers don’t like hiring people who have brought actions against their previous employers, no matter how justified. 

ETA: not to mention when investigations are poorly handled by the EEOC.

Post # 36
Member
2217 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

On the way to his car he tried to pick me up and tickle me. He does this with everyone so I brushed it off and told him to settle down

 

Ew. He’s not a “friendly, flirty” kind of guy- he’s testing the waters as to what he can get away with, and also setting up this as kind of an alibi. Oh no, assistant, he wasn’t hitting on you, that’s just his way with everyone. Believe me, this is a calculated move every time he does it. I know there is no HR at this company, but I can’t believe makes a habit of picking up and tickling employees. Gross. I’d start documenting all incidents, although given how unreceptive you were, he probably will be a little more cautious towards you specifically for awhile.

 

Can you talk, off the record, to the other women he does this to? I can’t believe no one is uncomfortable with their employer flirting with them and tickling them. That is just so over the line. It creeps me out just thinking about it.

 

Also don’t get how your husband was so angry at this guy that his initial reaction was to tell you not to say anything to anyone about it. I think he’s backpedaling. I’d be having some serious conversations with your husband over victim blaming and what constitutes a violation of boundaries and personal space. Just because your boss didn’t keep going after you told him to stop doesn’t mean he should have put you in that position to have to tell him to stop in the first place. This guy sounds gross.

Post # 37
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

 Comment removed for personal attack.  

Post # 38
Member
10584 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

zl27 :  

How do employers find out that prospective hires have filed claims?

As I said, if this actually going on, a spotlight needs to be thrown on it.  Would be a good whistleblower case.

Post # 39
Member
3197 posts
Sugar bee

sassy411 :  it’s a small world. I personally am two degrees of separation from most people in my industry. It is rare that I cannot find someone who knows a prospective employee and can give me the scoop. It is how the world works. 

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