- 5 years ago
I posted a previous thread under this anonymous name here before about my in-law’s with out of control dogs: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/in-law-woes-help-please#axzz2W0UZUOG9
Besides the update I gave later in the thread, I didn’t touch much on my relationship with my “sister-in-law”. (She is married to my Husband’s brother). She is about 7 years older than us – and 6 years older than her Husband. For some reason I think this gives her the feeling like she can treat us like children.
In the past, they have made all Holiday plans without consulting us first. When I am at my in-law’s, she pulls away my Mother-In-Law and excludes me from conversations. When they do dishes or cook together, she tells me to go sit down and relax. She often tells us what to do and it has infuritated me for a long time.
Last night we get a phone call that my DH’s grandfather is ill and is headed to long term hospice. We receive a speaker-phoned conversation from my BIL and his Wife telling us that we MUST (yes, MUST) go see him this weekend. For them, it is a 2.5 hour drive. For us, it is 7 hours. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue. However, I work on the weekends and in a business that I cannot easily re-schedule things. I told her that I could come after work on Saturday and she proceeds to tell me this, “We are all busy. We all have lives. This is important. This is family. We’re all setting aside things we have to do to go see him. You have to cancel work” (Reiterating that this is not her grandfather or mine)
Am I an ass hole for thinking, 1. He’s not my grandfather and my Darling Husband is okay with going without me. The grandfather has dimentia and no longer knows where he is or who anyone else. I will of course go for a funeral when that time comes. 2. There has been no indication that he is going to die immediately. By long-term care I was under the impression that we had a couple of weeks to say goodbye.
I’m sick of the guilt trips from her and her treating us like we’re children. She tells us what to do and expects us to jump. While this may not be the time to say something, do you all feel like I have a right to tell her to back off? And if so, how do I do that?
I need to get this taken care of before any of us have kids.